


Blindfolded Foresight

by AozoraStars



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, Misunderstandings, One Night Stands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-20
Updated: 2012-10-20
Packaged: 2017-11-16 15:51:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 37,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/541200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AozoraStars/pseuds/AozoraStars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A night of celebration leads to Kotetsu and Barnaby getting very intoxicated, resulting in a drunken hookup. Kotetsu, having drank well past his limit, wakes up the next morning with little recollection of the night before. When the scene around him begins to clue him in on the situation, he freaks out and rushes to leave. In the midst of jumping into his clothes, however, Barnaby wakes up and is not happy to see that Kotetsu is trying to leave without talking about it. Kotetsu, on the other hand, needs to get away as quickly as possible to try and process what just happened. Little does he know just how royally he screwed up.</p><p>The "Explicit" rating applies to the first chapter ONLY! The rest of the story falls under "Teen" for a little language. If you don't want to read M/M porn, I'd just say skip the first chapter, but the way the chapter plays out is important to the rest of story. Your call!</p><p>This story was originally written for the Tiger & Bunny anon meme. (See original prompt inside.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This story is another fill for a prompt on the T&B anon meme. I didn't follow the prompt completely to a T, but the original prompt was as follows:
> 
> _Basically, Kotetsu and Barnaby get drunk, end up at Barnaby's place, and sleep together..._
> 
> _However, when Kotetsu wakes up the next morning all he can think is "SHIT how did I let this happen, we should not have done that, I better get out of here", etc. so Kotetsu, being the smooth old man he is, tries to sneak out the next morning in order to get his thoughts in order before actually confronting the fact that he and Barnaby slept together._
> 
> _OF COURSE, Kotetsu's plans never quite go the way he intends for them to and Barnaby wakes up while Kotetsu's in the middle of getting ready to ditch that sweet ass he pounded last night. Cue one very pissed off Barnaby: "Wow, you're seriously pulling this card?", etc._
> 
> _Kotetsu, of course feels like an asshole, but Barnaby won't stand for that kinda shit and kicks him out anyways. Cue a really awkward next day at work and Barnaby practically resorting to the ice queen attitude he had at the beginning of the series._
> 
> _What will Kotetsu do?! How does he deal with all of the confusing thoughts that come along with hooking up with Barnaby, as well as Barnaby's cold treatment?_
> 
> Thanks to all of my beautiful anon readers on the meme! I had a ton of fun writing this for all of them and hope new readers will enjoy it as well.

Tonight was a night of celebration. Tiger and Barnaby were back in the big leagues after having dominated the Second League last season to the point of humiliation for the other amateur heroes. Barnaby alone was a force to be reckoned with, but between the two of them, the other Second Leaguers didn't stand a chance. Even though the duo had been apart for a while, they re-found their rhythm quickly and rose straight to the top. They did so well, in fact, they even started holding back to let the others have a chance, faking their inability to help out at moments. But in the end, Kotetsu couldn't very easily sit on the sidelines when people needed saving and always jumped in anyway.

As a result, the powers that be decided that they were a little  _too_  good to remain on the junior varsity. Well, at least that's how they felt about Barnaby. Tiger would have fit right in on his own because of how little his power could help anymore. However, when asked to return to the First League, Barnaby wouldn't agree to it without his partner moving up with him.

And so it came to be – Wild Tiger and Barnaby Brooks Jr. were back in business. Not that they minded in the least.

Their first day back in the playing field had been a successful one. While they did not score the most points (Sky High was hard to knock from his pedestal again), they did manage to save a couple of citizens and supported their fellow heroes otherwise. Their teamwork came so naturally, everyone would agree that it was almost as if they had never even left.

A small welcome-back party was held for the two of them at a quaint diner in a quiet corner of town. It was just them and the other heroes, including the Second League, who also wanted to congratulate them on their advancement. Kotetsu was glad for the modest party; he didn't care much for the big formal events. He'd take the intimate settings over the suit-and-tie and don't-forget-to-be-on-your-best-behavior-for-the-sponsors-type of parties any day.

Even though both of them had spent plenty of time with the other heroes outside of work during their run in the Second League, it was nice to be back amongst their ranks.

Barnaby and Kotetsu had parted ways with the other heroes not long ago. It was getting late, and the two decided it would be nice to finish the night off with a toast. Considering the party had been held in a family restaurant (there were still minor heroes, after all), they had no choice but to drink elsewhere, and settled on simply picking something up from a liquor store and winding down at Barnaby's place. They agreed that, after having socialized for a few hours, drinking in a quiet setting like Barnaby's apartment sounded pretty nice.

That is, if you could call the laughter of the two inebriated fools in Barnaby's living room "quiet".

"How d'you drink thisshit? It tastes like fuckin' grape juice!" bellowed Kotetsu as he took another swig of his partner's favorite rosé wine, his nose wrinkling in disgust. By now he was well beyond drunk and his tongue was heavy. His partner wasn't too far behind.

Barnaby had poured a small glass of the soft wine for Kotetsu after the bearded man insisted on giving it another go. He'd had it before – several times, actually – and every single time he'd declare that it tasted like fruity sugar water. With each try though, he thought maybe, just maybe, he might like it a little more, but this time was no different.

Barnaby laughed. "It's a classy drink, for classy people like me." He gestured toward himself, nearly jabbing himself with his own thumb thanks to his delayed reflexes. "You don't use it to get trashed. Not that  _you_  would understand, Kotetsu." He stole the glass back from Kotetsu and finished it off, downing it like a shot, which made Kotetsu lose it.

"You talk about bein' a classy drinker," the older man roared, pointing at him, "an' then ya just knock back your glass'ah Pinot Fancypants like it was a shot'a cheap vodka! I love it!"

"Still classier than you," Barnaby teased as he tilted the glass back again to get a few remaining drops, this time jokingly sticking his pinky finger straight up as he did so. But the sudden motion of throwing the glass back made him almost fall flat onto his back. He caught himself before he did so, but it didn't save him from looking a fool.

Kotetsu smacked the floor as he cracked up, nearly knocking over their half-empty bottle of Jack in the process.

"Aahahaaah…aahoowww," Kotetsu groaned as he gripped his sore abs, giggles difficult to control. Reaching a hand up, he wiped a few tears from his eyes.

He lay down on the floor and sprawled out to stretch, giving the sore muscles a little relief. A stupid grin was plastered on his face. He couldn't think of many things that he enjoyed more than nights like these. But then again, he could hardly think at all right now. He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh as he calmed his giggles.

The alcohol seemed to be hitting him harder by the minute. Damn, that liquor sneaks up on you. It had been a very long time since he'd gotten this drunk, and it felt good getting stupid with his partner. It was one thing to drink with someone like Antonio, but entirely another to drink with Barnaby. With each sip of alcohol, Kotetsu got to watch Barnaby's walls crumble, brick by brick, until there was only air between them. By now, Barnaby trusted him enough to talk to him about just about anything, but Kotetsu felt that getting to talk to him with his filter off really brought them closer together; they didn't have to worry about crossing lines. Kotetsu knew he had to be the only one who got to witness this side of Barnaby, and he loved it. He really enjoyed having that kind of relationship with him.

"Say, Bunny," Kotetsu started, opening his eyes to blearily look at the other, "How come I've never seen you with someone? Like I mean a girlfriend or somethin'."

Barnaby set the wine glass down a safe distance away from the both of them. He shrugged. "When have I ever had time for that?"

Kotetsu nodded in thought. "True." His eyes wandered up to the ceiling, though not focused on anything in particular. "Get 'em while you're still young. If you wait 'til you're my age, you'll be single for the rest'ah your life."

Barnaby chuckled. "That's not true. Older people still date. People get divorced and remarried all the time, and if they're doing that, they must be having some success in finding new loves."

The older man waved his hand. "Yeah, but if y'wait 'til you're the same age as the people gettin' remarried, you'll be way behind. You'll be th'little kid amongst all th'jaded and experienced people." Kotetsu laughed. "You should find someone. It'd be good for you."

Barnaby shifted, a little uncomfortable. Instead of going down that road, he put the focus on Kotetsu. "What about you? Do you think you'll ever find someone else?"

Kotetsu picked his hat off of his head and idly twirled it around on a finger. "Doubt that. I spent my prime time either married or grieving, and I'm too busy to bother too." He sighed. "I gotta admit though, it can get preeeetty damned frustrating, if you know what I mean."

At first, Barnaby shook his head, but then it dawned on him. "Oh. Right. That must be hard."

 _Hard was right_. Just thinking about intimacy was starting to rouse the dark-haired man. The kissing, the touching, the scratching, the biting, the moaning, the tight wet warmth, the blissful cuddling…he missed it all.

Letting out a small groan, he tossed his hat down and rolled onto his stomach to hide what was beginning to happen down south. He laid his head on the back of one of his hands so he could still look at Barnaby, his other arm stretched out on the floor.

Barnaby decided to join him on the ground, and rolled over to lie on his back. As he did so, he unintentionally flopped his head down on Kotetsu's arm with a hard  _thump_.

"Ow!" Kotetsu winced, but chuckled. "Motherfucker."

Barnaby laughed and corrected himself, scooting away to give him a little room. "Sorry."

The younger man's head was just inches from Kotetsu's hand, and he couldn't resist running his fingers through those blonde curls. Had he been sober, he wouldn't have even thought about laying a hand on that boy's hair, but he was well beyond the point of caring about boundaries and trivial crap like that. It was softer than it looked, despite the product that was in it.

Barnaby hummed, a small smile growing on his lips. Clearly he was too intoxicated to care about his hair too, and simply enjoyed the gentle touch. Quickly though, his expression went from relaxed to bothered. He grabbed at the hem of his shirt and started flapping it, fanning his torso. "This alcohol is making me burn up," he complained.

Curious, Kotetsu stopped ruffling his hair and reached out to touch part of Barnaby's exposed abdomen. His skin felt like it had been sitting under a lamp. "Wow, you  _are_  pretty hot."

The other man's face froze, his eyes a little cross, but he looked to be thinking about something. Then he broke into laughter. Kotetsu laughed with him, even though he had no idea why they were laughing. It didn't matter. Kotetsu didn't need to understand what was so funny to find it funny anyway.

Barnaby dropped his shirt, in a way that left the lower half uncovered, trying to cool down. His skin was flushed and a little glossy with sweat.

Kotetsu's hand was still there. Idly, he stroked his thumb over the taut skin, studying the shape of the muscle underneath. He felt goosebumps forming beneath his touch. Barnaby's eyes told him he was confused, but he didn't say anything, nor did he move away.

The older man closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of his hand on the other's skin. He let his fingertips lightly graze over it, merely tickling the surface, and felt the muscle involuntarily flutter underneath. He thought he heard the other inhale sharply, but he did not open his eyes to look. Instead, he just enjoyed the feel. He hadn't touched someone like this in a while, and it was comforting. When  _was_  the last time he'd touched someone like this? He couldn't even remember, it was so long ago…

Oh, right. It must have been when he and Tomoe were trying for their second child. It felt like decades ago.

_Tomoe…_

He gave Barnaby's tummy a small squeeze before pulling his hand away. Just like that, his mood fell into a mild melancholy, thinking about how much he missed Tomoe, how much he missed being with her, and how much he missed loving and being loved. And suddenly he felt so alone.

Barnaby must have been able to read it on his face, because he felt a hand reach out to touch his temple. He didn't remember closing his eyes, but when he opened them, he was met with a look of concern from the younger hero.

"You okay?" he asked, pulling his hand back now that he had Kotetsu's attention.

He  _did_  have Barnaby. How could he forget? This old man wasn't alone at all!

Kotetsu snorted and waved his hand dismissively. "Wha, me? Yah, I'm fine! Dun worry about me, Bunny. I've got you, and you make ev'rything right!" He clapped Barnaby's shoulder with a loud slap of his hand, a stupid grin returning to his face. It didn't take much to bring his spirits back up. He reached out to pinch Barnaby's cheek and starting rhythmically flapping it as he sang in a high-pitched voice, "My bunny bunny bunny bunny!"

Barnaby laughed and swatted his hand away, "Stop that, you idiot! Are y'really that messed up?"

Kotetsu let go and let his arm drop back onto the floor. "I'm Japanese and I drank the same amount o' alcohol as you did, of  _course_  I'm fucked up!" he cackled. "I bet uh'm like, three times worse than you right now."

"Wow, that's a scary thought, 'cause I'm pretty far gone m'self," said Barnaby, his words finally beginning to slur a bit. It seemed the back end of the alcohol he consumed was kicking in at last. He shifted around a bit, trying to get comfortable. "This floor is starting to hurt."

Now that he mentioned it, it was getting pretty uncomfortable. "Yah, it is. Too bad you dun have any damn furniture. I keep tellin' ya to buy some!"

"I keep tellin'  _you_  I'm the only one who lives here, there's no point," argued the blonde.

"I guess guests like me aren't worthy enough to supply furniture for, eh?" Kotetsu scoffed. "You are a terrible host."

Barnaby rolled his eyes. "You're th'only one who comes over anyway."

Kotetsu pointed a finger at him. "All th'more reason for you to have furniture! I'm your guest of honor!" The old man chortled like a little kid.

Barnaby actually seemed to consider it for a moment, but quickly moved on from the thought. "You wanna just, sit on my bed and drink, then? It's a big bed, and you'll be pleased t'know I bought a night stand about a month ago, so you c'n set your drink down onnit."

That was all the convincing Kotetsu needed. He lifted his head up to look at Barnaby, overly amazed. "You bought some furniture? I'm  _sooo_  proud of you, Bunny!" he teased. He pushed himself up to his knees.

Barnaby followed suit, turning over onto his knees and then standing up. He swayed for a moment, but adjusted himself fairly quickly.

Kotetsu tried to copy him. He grabbed his drink off the floor and then jumped to his feet, his body moving much faster than his vision could keep up with. He nearly toppled over, but grabbed Barnaby's arm just in time to catch himself. He started laughing, and Barnaby joined him, giggling as he helped Kotetsu regain his balance. He held onto his waist so he wouldn't fall over again.

"Ahhh thank you Bunny." Once upright, he wrapped an arm around Barnaby's neck to steady himself. "You're the bessssst, Bunny!"

Together they stumbled toward Barnaby's bedroom. Somehow they both made it without incident. The door to the bedroom slid open and Kotetsu eyed the aforementioned new nightstand with wonder.

"Lookit that! It completes the room!" he bellowed and raised his glass. "To Bunny's first piece of long-overdue furniture purchisses!" He "clinked" his glass against an invisible comrade's and then downed the rest of his whiskey.

Barnaby shook his head and took the glass from Kotetsu's hand to set it down on the small table. "S'not necessary at all, just convenient."

The bearded man ignored his comment and dove onto the black bed. "Ahhhhhhh a king size bed for th'King of Heroes!" he joked. The bed really was accommodating.

"I'm not King of Heroes anymore," Barnaby reminded him with a smile. "Take your shoes off before y'get on my bed."

Kotetsu clicked his tongue. "So particular…" He rolled over and kicked his shoes off one at a time, launching them into the wall by the door, which sent him into another fit of giggles that could rival a hyena's.

Barnaby was not as amused. "Be careful! You're gonna damage my walls," he scolded, though with less bite than he might normally use thanks to his sedated state.

"They don't call me the 'Crusher for Justice' for nothin'!" boasted Kotetsu. He made himself comfortable right where he was and rested his head on the palms of his hands. "Ahhh, this is much better."

"There's no justice in kicking off your shoes," the younger man retorted, but he let it go.

Barnaby sat down on the edge of the bed to remove his own boots. Before he did that, however, he reached behind him and pulled his shirt over his head. He let out a sigh of relief, the air immediately beginning to cool his skin. He was still flushed.

Kotetsu's eyes immediately fell on the now-exposed torso. He let his gaze roam over his back, closely studying the sculpted shoulders. Barnaby's body was really a work of art, each muscle toned with diligence. Despite his masculine build, his physique had a slight elegance to it. He was well-built but lean, his complexion fair. The younger man leaned down and began unlacing his boots, the refined muscles of his upper back lightly flexing with his movements.

Kotetsu's appetite came back full force. He found himself wanting to run his fingers over every curve of the other's back, to trace that slender spine…and before he could stop himself, he was already reaching out to touch him.

Just as Barnaby was about to pull his boots off, Kotetsu's fingertips brushed against his back, which made him jump. He had not been expecting it. He looked at Kotetsu, bewildered. "What was that for?"

The older man propped himself up on an elbow and leaned closer, unable to resist the impulse. He brought his free hand around to feel his partner's chest. He let out a quiet groan when his palm found the other man's nipple. His returning arousal twitched. He simply  _craved_  the touch. His carnal desire quickly consumed him, and his already-muddled thoughts clouded further with lust. All he could think about was how badly he wanted to touch him.

"Bunny…"

Barnaby had stopped moving, unsure of what to do. He seemed conflicted…but he didn't resist the touch. "Kotetsu, what are yo-  _Ah!_ " His breath hitched when Kotetsu's fingers pinched the pink nub, which hardened quickly to the touch.

Kotetsu sat up and closed the gap between them. He needed more. Now. He bit the back of Barnaby's neck, to which his partner hissed. He pressed his lips to the other man's ear and purred. "I want you so badly right now, Bunny." He felt him shudder. His fingers continued to tease and tug at the nipple, but he was running out of patience.

Barnaby's breath quickened. "Kotetsu…we can't—" he started, "You'll regret it…"

But Kotetsu wasn't going to have it. To convince his partner further, he slid his hand down, down, down, under the fabric of Barnaby's pants, and cupped his member through his underwear. The other man was already rock hard. It shouldn't take much to sway him, but to seal the deal, he gave him a gentle squeeze.

"Please Bunny," he whispered, his voice desperate. "I need you." He nuzzled against his neck, his eyes closed. " _Please._ "

That seemed to do the trick, as Barnaby moaned and leaned back against Kotetsu, allowing him better access. He quickly kicked his boots the rest of the way off and spread his legs, inviting the other to touch him more.

Kotetsu obliged. Hungry with lust, he pulled his hand out only to undo the belt and unbutton his partner's pants. He worked quickly, and when there was enough room, he pulled the younger man's member free. Barnaby tugged his pants and underwear down to help.

Kotetsu went to work. He wrapped his fingers around the hard length and stroked, slowly at first. Barnaby let his head drop back onto Kotetsu's shoulder, his brow knit with pleasure. Kotetsu bit him again, sucking hard on the flesh where his neck and shoulder met. Barnaby groaned loudly and brought a hand up to run his fingers through Kotetsu's hair, needing some part of him to touch. Kotetsu gave the skin a small tug with his teeth before licking the fresh bruise. His busied hand picked up its pace, pumping him a little harder, a little faster, and gave his cock a squeeze at the tip with each stroke.

"Kotetsu…" he gasped, his warm breath hitting the side of Kotetsu's neck. Unable to sit still, Barnaby began rocking his hips into Kotetsu's hand, encouraging him to go faster.

The feel of his hand on his partner's erection only made his own that much more painful. The vocalized pleasure echoing in his ears was beginning to drive him mad. Kotetsu pulled his hand away and pushed Barnaby upright again so he could relieve himself of his confines. He undid his belt and pulled his pants off, underwear and all.  _Much_  better.

Barnaby took this time to kick his own garments the rest of the way off and crawled onto the bed next to Kotetsu. He straddled the older man's hips and began undressing his upper half, unbuttoning his vest, and then his shirt. He worked swiftly, and to Kotetsu's amazement, he managed to undo every button without a problem. Once his shirt was open, Barnaby pulled the material off of his shoulders and discarded it onto the floor. His tie still hung loosely around his neck. Barnaby tugged on the length of it to pull Kotetsu's face close and captured the older man's lips with his own. The kiss was so eager, so hungry, Kotetsu had to break it just to catch his breath.

It was Barnaby's turn now to leave his mark. Wet kisses trailed down Kotetsu's neck, soft nibbles dotting his skin. Kotetsu let out an audible moan, and craned his neck to allow the other more access. Further down he went, until he gave his collar bone a good bite, generating a pleased hiss from the veteran's gritted teeth. Finished with the tie, Barnaby slid the knot down the black fabric and tossed it behind him.

Barnaby then lifted his hips to adjust his position on Kotetsu's lap, and once situated, began gently grinding against him. The two of them groaned in unison, the simple contact providing just enough friction to please. Kotetsu pulled down on Barnaby's hips, pressing him harder against him as he rocked his hips, eliciting a moan of approval from the blonde.

But it wasn't enough. Kotetsu craved more. He brought his hands down to massage Barnaby's thighs, sneaking his fingers closer and closer to the entrance he would be dominating soon.  _So close_. He rubbed a finger over the tight ring of flesh, but before he could slide a digit in, Barnaby sat up and grabbed his wrist.

"Wait," he said breathlessly, and then climbed off his lap. He watched the younger man lean over to open the drawer of his nightstand and pull something out. "Here." He planted a small bottle of lubricant in his hand and resumed his position on Kotetsu's lap, leaning over to allow him to do what he needed to do.

Kotetsu popped the cap open and squeezed a generous amount of the lubricant onto his fingers. Holding the bottle in one hand, he brought his slicked fingers around back to Barnaby's entrance and slid a finger inside. Barnaby grit his teeth and hung his head, but remained patient. Kotetsu began working at him, slowly sliding his finger out and back in again. Barnaby bit his lip, trying to adjust to it, and after a minute or two, he gradually started to relax.

A second finger.

Barnaby let out a small sound, but Kotetsu kept on. He scissored his fingers, spreading him wider, and pushed them further inside. He felt Barnaby loosen a little more, which prompted him to slide a third finger in.

It took everything in him to wait. Feeling how tight he was only made him want to forego patience and take him now, but he continued to work with his fingers. When he was able to push all three of them in down to the knuckle, he slid them out and pushed Barnaby off of him.

As he sat up, he ushered Barnaby onto his knees. He coated his own member with a healthy amount of the lubricant before tossing the bottle aside and setting himself up behind his partner. His cock throbbed with anticipation. Spreading him a little wider, he placed himself at the entrance and slowly pushed the head inside. Barnaby was so tight still that he had to stop, but even that little amount nearly made him see stars. Inch by inch, he eased himself in until he reached the hilt. His head fell back as a loud moan escaped his throat, his body shuddering involuntarily. He could almost come right then and there.

Barnaby's breathing was labored, anxious. When he felt that he had relaxed a little, Kotetsu moved at his own direction. He pulled out slowly, the pace agonizing, yet  _glorious_. He savored every inch of it before plunging back inside. Barnaby cried out – he was so tight it was probably painful, but Kotetsu was unable to hold back any longer. He began thrusting himself in and out, his pace slowly increasing.

"Oh god –" he choked. "So - good…" He was quickly reduced to desperate pants, what little coherency he had left escaping him in an instant.

Barnaby wasn't much better off. Gradually he was easing up, and with each thrust, Kotetsu managed to get in a little deeper. The older man grabbed his hips and pulled them toward him as he thrust harder.

Barnaby moaned loudly, now that the pain had subsided and twisted into pleasure. He lowered himself down onto one elbow and took his other hand to his throbbing erection. He began pumping himself in time with Kotetsu's thrusts, which proved to be just the right combination, as his head dropped down onto the bed with frantic gasps.

Kotetsu wasn't sure he could last much longer. He slammed his hips into Barnaby, hitting him hard. Barnaby cried out loudly that time. He must have hit something inside of him. He was not at all opposed to doing that again. And again. And again. And again.

Between him striking the bundle of nerves and stroking himself, it only took a few more beats before Barnaby was pushed over the edge, his seed spilling into his own hand. His breath was ragged, but oh so satisfied.

The older man felt the walls clenching around his length, which made the pleasure almost unbearable. He thrust himself deep into his partner several more times before finally throwing his head back and releasing himself inside. He stayed like that for a few moments, soaking in the rapture of it all, before slumping over his partner. His exhaustion flooded over him like a broken dam, and he needed a minute to catch his breath.

When his erection had finally subsided, he pulled himself out and fell onto his back next to the blonde. He closed his eyes, his heart still pounding. He smiled. To finally have an outlet for his pent up lust other than his own hand, was truly gratifying.

He felt Barnaby drop down onto the mattress next to him. He vaguely heard the words "That was amazing", and felt something soft touch his lips just before he lost himself to a very deep slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: AuuuughIcannotwritepornWHYdoIkeeppickingpromptsthatstartoutwithsexscenesJesus


	2. Chapter 2

Kotetsu woke to a throat so dry he could hardly swallow. Blindly, he groped around the edge of the bed for a glass of water. When his hand made contact with a glass, he picked it up and found only the small puddle of ice cubes long gone left inside. He eagerly brought the glass to his lips and downed what little there was to drink. It tasted faintly of the alcohol that filled it prior. Now that the dryness in his mouth had had been partially satiated, he opened his eyes.

The first traces of dawn had just begun to touch the walls of a bedroom he had seen before, but knew wasn't his. As his mind's gears slowly began to turn, little by little he started to register his surroundings. First, he noticed he was naked. He lifted the bed sheet just enough to take a peek underneath to confirm. Then he realized he was not only in Barnaby's bedroom, but the man himself was sleeping next to him. He glanced over at his partner's sleeping form, and his eyes followed the exposed skin down to his hips, where the bed sheets concealed the rest. His partner was naked too.

His eyes grew wide as he began recalling what little he could of what happened before they fell asleep. His grogginess made it difficult to think very hard, and his nausea and pounding headache weren't of much help either. Vague though his memory was, he could definitely remember messing around with Barnaby. Images of his younger partner underneath him squirming and moaning flashed before his eyes.

His body went rigid. His heart pounded in his throat.  _What had he done?_  He lay there horrified for what felt like an eternity before he quickly slipped out of bed. He frantically searched the floor for his clothes. His pants were right beside the bed, his underwear inside and the belt still stuck in the loops, thankfully. He jumped into them and pulled them up. He needed to get out of there fast. As he tightened his belt, he heard Barnaby stir behind him.

"…Kotetsu?"

He froze.  _Shit._

His partner's voice came again, a little less groggy, but still inquisitive. Perhaps even a little worried. "Kotetsu, where are you going?"

Now what? He finished buckling his belt and began looking for his shirt. "I need to leave."

At that, Barnaby sat up and picked his glasses up from his bedside table. He looked Kotetsu up and down, now that he was able to see more clearly. He did not look happy. "…You aren't seriously doing this to me, are you?" he asked.

Found it. His shirt was next to Barnaby's pants. He threw it over his shoulders and began buttoning it up, only fastening enough of them to keep his shirt closed. He did not speak or even brave to look at Barnaby; rather, he concentrated more on fighting to remain vertical through his dizziness.

The blonde was quiet, but Kotetsu felt his eyes watching him. The older man grabbed his vest and slipped his arms through it, though he didn't bother to button it for right now. His tie was next, which he simply wadded up and shoved into his pocket. He could feel his stomach trying to turn over, but he would wait to purge himself when he got home. He needed to get out of there  _now_.

Barnaby got to his feet, paying no mind to the fact that he was still naked. He grabbed Kotetsu's shoulder, forcing him to acknowledge him. The veteran turned quickly and met his gaze, only to stumble a bit as the room spun. Barnaby steadied him until his teetering stopped, but kept his grip on him tight. Kotetsu rolled his shoulders free and stepped away, picking up his pace as he went for his shoes near the bedroom door. Barnaby didn't follow him, but he continued to watch. His silence only made Kotetsu more uncomfortable.

"I thought you of all people would be better than this," came the younger man's voice finally. He sounded disappointed. Angry. Lost.

As Kotetsu bent down to lace up his shoes, his nausea almost won out. He grabbed hold of the door frame, allowing himself only a brief moment to calm his stomach. He had to get home.

Just then, Barnaby walked toward him. He couldn't let him stop him. He needed to get away.

" _Kotetsu–!_ "

He activated his Hundred Power and quickly left the apartment. He only had a minute to reach his home, but he was close enough that he should make it most of the way. The power would relieve him of his headache and nausea for the time being, so he took advantage of that and moved as fast as he could.

Barnaby did not try to catch him, and he was grateful for that.

His power expired a couple of blocks away from his apartment, but that was good enough. With his power gone, his nausea hit him again like a truck, and he fought hard to control it. He managed to shuffle the rest of the way home. Upon entering the building, without even closing his front door, he headed immediately for the toilet and finally emptied his stomach.

 


	3. Chapter 3

The sun had reached its zenith by the time Kotetsu came-to for the second time that day. He groaned as he opened his eyes. What he saw first was tile and porcelain. Evidently, he had fallen asleep on the floor of his bathroom. The small room reeked of vomit. He pushed himself to sit up and found that the toilet was in fact still full of his expelled fluids. The stench and the sight of it made him queasy again, but considering he had nothing left to dispel, he merely gagged over the bowl. He grabbed the handle and flushed the contents. At least it would be out of his sight now.

After spending a few minutes regulating his breathing and psyching himself up to get out of the bathroom, he stood up. His vision was momentarily spotty and his head pounded. While he did not usually get this drunk, he had done it enough times to know what he needed to do.

When he stepped out of the bathroom, he immediately noticed a current of air he didn't normally feel. His front door had been left wide open. He scrunched up his face as he tried to figure out why it was like that, and then remembered how quickly he had bolted in earlier. He shut the door.

Kotetsu then made his way into the kitchen and filled up a glass of water. Upon downing it, he filled another. When he had two glasses of it in his stomach, he filled it one more time and grabbed an aspirin out of his pantry. He popped it in his mouth and headed straight for the couch. While he didn't feel like he would need to puke again, his stomach was still uneasy. Resting and rehydrating would be the smartest things he could do for himself right now. He sunk himself low into the couch and stared at the far wall. The situation from earlier this morning began to creep back into his thoughts.

He still couldn't believe that what happened was real. If he wasn't currently physically feeling his hangover, he'd start to think he was actually still asleep and stuck in a nightmare. But no, it happened. He had sex with Barnaby last night, and what a horrible reality it was to wake up to.

His mind went back to the beginning of their evening, just after they left the party. He remembered walking with him to a liquor store and buying them both a bottle of something – whiskey, he recalled now – and going into Barnaby's apartment. He remembered talking and joking with him on the floor, and looking up at the ceiling…but everything else after that was mostly a blur. He vaguely remembered being on the bed with Barnaby and closely examining his back, but…Gods, why couldn't he remember such an important event better than this?

Kotetsu sat there like that for a while, trying to dig deeper into his memory and figure out what had happened, and  _how_  it had happened to begin with. There was just no way he would do something like that, drunk or not. It wasn't like he'd never been shitfaced before, and yet he's  _never_  come even close to doing anything like that, so why now? Moreover, just because he was drunk doesn't mean he'd do just any random thing. Sure, alcohol eliminates filters and encourages people to act on impulse, but he would never do something he would be solidly against, like murder someone or try to commit suicide. Alcohol can make you bold, but it won't  _change_  you like that. It didn't make any sense.

Suddenly he thought he remembered seeing Barnaby on top of  _him_ , biting him. Was that his imagination or had it actually happened? He reached a hand up to touch his neck. Nothing felt out of the ordinary, until his fingertips traced over his collarbone. The skin there was a little raw.

So that much had to be true. Barnaby had been on top of him at some point.

He didn't like what that might mean, but it was the only thing that made any sense so far. Perhaps Barnaby had coaxed him into it, and being out of his right mind, he must have gone with it. Yeah, that had to be it. There was just no other explanation...right?

He swallowed hard. He felt a little angry. Of course Barnaby must have been drunk too, but if he really had pushed Kotetsu into doing it, he couldn't help but feel like he had sort of been taken advantage of in his inebriated state. Intentional or not, the idea made him rather uncomfortable.

Just as he completed that thought, his call band rang. He'd completely forgotten about work. It was Agnes.

"…Yes?"

" _TIGER!_ " came the woman's reverberating voice. "Just where the hell are you? Several of us have been trying to reach you for almost three hours, and no one knows where you are."

Oops. "Er, sorry. I was asleep. I'm feeling pretty sick today, so I decided to take the day off-"

"Then why didn't you call in first like you're supposed to?" Agnes asked impatiently. "Your boss said he hadn't heard from you yet either."

"I was out cold," he answered honestly. "I drank more than I realized last night, and I guess I ended up sleeping through everything. Sorry."

"We had an incident at the bank on 41st and Reynolds," she went on. "A number of people were being held hostage."

Kotetsu sat up. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

"That's  _past tense_  you idiot. It's already been resolved," she snapped.

"Sorry."

The producer sighed. "If you're really that out of it, then just stay home. But we better see you back in here tomorrow. It's hard to come up with an excuse as to why Barnaby is working on his own on only day two of the new season." She huffed. "Your return was supposed to be the hook and you're not even here to deliver it."

Kotetsu eased back into the sofa again, feeling a little bad about the timing. He didn't usually care about the show's ratings, but even he had to admit, this didn't look very good. "Right. I'll rest up and make sure I'm there tomorrow. Sorry for the trouble." He disconnected the call.

The dialogue reminded him that he hadn't looked at his phone since yesterday. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at his missed calls. There were quite a few, all from Agnes, Mr. Lloyds, Ben, and even Mr. Saitou. Nothing from Barnaby, though that didn't surprise him at all. He imagined he'd find many more missed calls on his call band too if it kept a record like that.

He felt a little guilty for having to take the day off, but he couldn't imagine trying to run around capturing criminals in his current state. He didn't think he'd be able to concentrate very well anyway, with so much on his mind. It'd be nice if that aspirin kicked in soon.

He took a big sip of his water and set the glass down on the coffee table. All he could do for now was try to sort his thoughts out and recover from this killer hangover. He slipped his shoes off and lay down on the sofa.

His mind drifted back to Barnaby. The thought of having to face him tomorrow made him cringe. He had no idea what he would say. It made him wish he could take the whole week off just to not have to look him in the eye.

The shame was starting to get to him. He went to pull his hat down over his eyes, only to discover it wasn't on his head.  _Must have lost it on the way home_ , he concluded. He grabbed one of the pillows next to him and buried his head under that instead. It felt like even the walls and ceiling of his apartment were judging him right now, and he couldn't stand it.

If he couldn't escape this nightmare with booze, he would at least escape it with sleep, so he turned onto his side and attempted to clear his mind enough to drift off. A nap would do his body some good anyway.

However, not even a minute after he got comfortable, his call band rang again. Cursing under his breath, he tossed the pillow aside and accepted the call. "Yes?"

This time it was Blue Rose. "Oh, you're okay," he heard her say quietly, but her tone quickly went on the offense. "Why weren't you here today? We've all been worried about you!"

"I feel like shit, so I took the day off," he stated plainly.

"You sound like it," she observed. "I hope you feel better."

Kotetsu smiled a little. "Thanks."

"Tiger…." There was a pause. "…Is there something going on between you and Barnaby?"

"Eh, yuh, what? No—I mean, what would make you think that?" His voice sounded surprised, but inside he was panicking.  _Don't tell me I started drunk dialing people too and told them things—_

"It just seemed that Barnaby was in a bad mood today," she replied. "I kind of wondered if you two had a fight last night after you left the party."

Oh  _thank god_  that was all. "Oh, well, don't worry about us, we're fine. Actually, I'm sick because I drank way too much last night, so I'm sure he's just annoyed that I had to stay home for such a stupid reason. " He forced a chuckle, hoping his excuse sounded believable enough. Though truth be told, Barnaby probably would have actually been more irritated if he  _had_  shown up today.

"I see." Karina didn't sound very convinced, but she let it go. "Okay, well, get some rest."

Kotetsu was grateful to not be interrogated further. "Will do. Oh, and Blue Rose, can you do me a big favor?"

"Er, s-sure!" she said, her voice a bit bashful all of a sudden.

"Could you tell the others I'm fine and not to call me asking me if I'm okay? It will be hard to rest if everyone else starts calling me one after the other."

"Oh, okay." She might have sounded a little disappointed. "Take care."

As the call ended, he sighed. Tomorrow was going to be unbearably awkward. He silently prayed it would magically be a day where all the criminals in Stern Bild would take a break from troublemaking and allow him to take his stack of long-overdue paperwork and fill it out somewhere in private.  _Fat chance of that happening._  At least he would be able to start his day off that way until he got called into duty. Provided the first call of the day didn't serve as an alarm clock in the morning.

He scrubbed his face. The more he thought about going into work tomorrow, the more nervous it made him. He was not ready to see Barnaby. What would he say? What would Barnaby say to  _him_? Would he even talk to him? If only he could wind the clock back and take that damned bottle of liquor out of his hands. He knew Barnaby would be mad, and must have a lot of questions. He had a lot of questions himself. To think, if they had just parted ways and gone home for the night instead, everything would still be as peachy as ever. It was amazing how one stupid mistake could change things so drastically and so quickly. As much as he didn't want to do it, he knew he had to talk to him and find out what happened. If Barnaby hadn't been as intoxicated as he was last night, he should be able to remember everything better. And if he was right about Barnaby acting on him first…

…He would forgive him, he decided.

As the aspirin finally started to do its job, he began to notice just how disgusting he felt otherwise. There was still a thick, sour taste on his tongue, and his shirt stuck to his skin. His bangs were oily and made his face itch. He sat back up. Thankfully, he felt a little better already. With his stomach being as empty as it was, the water had moved into his system quickly, and he felt that he might be able to move about now without too much difficulty.

He got up and headed back into the bathroom. He stripped out of his messy clothes and stepped into the shower. Maybe a good scrub with some scalding water would help cleanse him of the dirty feeling he couldn't shake.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just a note about this chapter - I really had no idea about some parts of the layout of some of these buildings, so I made my best guess. If anything is obviously out of place, please let me know and I'll revise it

Doomsday had arrived.

Miraculously enough, the morning had been uneventful thus far, as Kotetsu had hoped. Even so, he'd dragged his feet the whole way to the office. He knew things would be worse if he didn't go, but boy was he not looking forward to what the day was sure to bring.

At first, it appeared he had actually beaten Barnaby there, despite his slow pace. Upon entering the main room of the office, Mr. Lloyds looked up from his notes and set down his pen. "Ah, Kotetsu, it's good to see you back and well. I heard from Miss Agnes that you were recovering from a hangover."

Kotetsu winced, guilty for not notifying his boss properly himself. "Yeah, I'm really sorry about that. It's not something I do often. It seems I underestimated the potency of the alcohol. I didn't wake up to any of the calls until Agnes reached me."

Mr. Lloyds smiled, though Kotetsu knew that look wasn't  _entirely_  forgiving. "Yesterday was the first time it's happened since you've been under our employment, so I understand it isn't a habit. But please do try to be more careful in the future."

Sometimes Kotetsu could hardly remember his boss had ever hated him. He gave him a slight bow of the head. "Most certainly! Thank you for your understanding."

The silver-haired man nodded politely. "We look forward to having you and Barnaby back in the First League. Good luck to both of you."

The mere mention of his partner's name made his stomach flip. He ignored it. "Speaking of him, is he around?"

Mr. Lloyds thought for a moment. "He checked in a while ago, but I believe he went straight to the gym after that."

So he  _had_  gotten here before him. "Thanks."

Kotetsu let out a quiet sigh of relief, though his feelings were mixed. He'd have a chance to isolate himself like he wanted to after all, but now this meant he would have to confront Barnaby on his own accord. It probably would have been easier if he had just been forced to see him.  _Do I go to the gym? Or should I wait for him to come back by here? Maybe I can talk to him at lunch? Would that be a bad time?_

The sound of Mr. Lloyds clearing his throat pulled him from his internal debate. Apparently he had been staring at his manager's necktie while he was off in his own world. "Is there something the matter, Kotetsu?"

The hero laughed apologetically. "Oh, er, I was just thinking that I'm behind on my paperwork, so I would like to get that from you…" Well, that decided that.  _Coward._

Upon hearing that, Mr. Lloyds lit right up. "Yes! Wonderful." He pulled open a drawer behind his desk and withdrew a manila folder with a thickness resembling that of sacred scripture. "Here you are." He held it out for Kotetsu to receive. "I appreciate you taking care of this promptly."

Kotetsu accepted the documents and thanked him. Already he was feeling a little guilty for putting off the inevitable confrontation. With his head low, he made his way to the small side office where his and Barnaby's desks were located. Upon entering the room, he accidentally met eyes with the secretary, obligating him to offer a small " 'morning".

The dark-skinned lady grunted her usual "Good morning, Kotetsu" in acknowledgement but otherwise did not distract herself much from her work. Just as well, Kotetsu figured, as he wasn't feeling very social this morning himself.

Just as he was about to toss the folder onto his desk, he stopped. Sitting on top of it already was his hat. He blinked, and, momentarily forgetting about everything else, he was delighted to see his favorite accessory wasn't gone after all. But when he realized how it must have gotten there, his face fell again. He resumed his motion of tossing the folder and sat down in his seat. He wasn't sure how to interpret the gesture. Was this Bunny's way of apologizing? Was it an invitation for him to come find him and speak with him? Was it him saying " _Here's your shit, keep it out of my place_ "? Perhaps he was thinking too far into it. For now, he should just be glad to have it back. He picked it up and put it back in its rightful place. It felt good to have it on again, even though he'd hardly been without it for a couple of days.

Time to get to work. He opened the folder and pulled out the first order of business. More documentation for the insurance company. Of course. Man he hated this stuff. He'd only been looking over the black and white print for about fifteen seconds before his eyes started wandering around the room, searching for something,  _anything_  more interesting to direct his attention.

Catching himself, he sighed and pulled a pen out of the top drawer. Maybe the motion of physically putting a pen to the paper would get the ball rolling… but within seconds, he started spinning the pen around his thumb and rested his chin on the other hand, irritated. For as well off as Apollon Media was, why the hell couldn't they just hire someone to do his crap for him? They could afford it, couldn't they? And how the heck is he expected to have time to do this rubbish when he's a full-time hero, anyway? Part of him began to wonder if this drag really was the better alternative to talking to Barnaby.

He pictured walking into the gym and seeing Barnaby on one of the machines. Barnaby stopped what he was doing and marched over to Kotetsu. He grabbed his arm and told him to follow him so they could talk somewhere in private. His tone was cold and flat. As soon as they arrived in a quiet area, Barnaby began to yell at him, calling him names and telling him how stupid he was, how much he hated him, and then he pulled his arm back to punch him—

Yeah okay, so maybe the paperwork wouldn't be so bad after all.

He slouched and got to work – for real this time. It would be good to get this stuff out of the way anyway, he told himself. If Barnaby had to be upset with him, at least he might be able to earn more favor from his manager. It was the least he could do to make up for taking a day off without requesting it first.

Insurance coverage, done. New sponsor label documentation, done. Arrangements for an interview on a late night talk show with Barnaby… _sigh_ , done. Contract to appear in a new commercial for Super Dish with… _him_ … again, done.

Kotetsu sat back in his chair, the frame creaking lightly from the shifting of his weight. Just how exactly did he think this was going to take his mind off of Barnaby? His partner's name was on every other damned page it seemed, and the over-achiever's signature was already on all the lines above where he was supposed to sign his own name. He could practically feel Barnaby's fingerprints on the paper, even though he had probably already gone through all of this a week ago.

The desk beside his was as spotless and organized as ever. Briefly, he contemplated leaving a note for him. As tempting as it was to take that easy road, a small voice in the back of his mind reminded him he was already being enough of a coward by hiding away in the office. He sat there staring at his pen, lost in his thoughts. The longer he waited, the more his stomach began to twist into knots. He couldn't stop thinking about talking to Barnaby and worrying about what would happen. His palms were sweaty and his heart was racing. Why was he so afraid of facing him? Shouldn't he be eager to get this over with and make everything better? They've been through hell together before and made it out just fine, so why was this any worse? It might be rough, but they'd get past it. They always did.

 _This is stupid_ , he thought. If he was so anxious he couldn't concentrate on the work in front of him, he may as well just face the music already.

Pushing himself back from the desk, he dropped his pen and stood up. He wouldn't let himself stop walking until he arrived at the gym.

* * *

As the doors slid open, Kotetsu's eyes scanned the room for his red-clad companion. The gym was relatively unpopulated today, so he was easy to spot. He found him on the far end, practicing kicks and punches on one of the sparring dummies. Even from a distance, Kotetsu could feel the intensity of his hits. The power behind the force of each strike made Kotetsu cringe as he imagined his own body in place of the dummy. Before he could even think about heading over that way, however, Antonio caught sight of him and approached him.

"Hey, I see the boozer-loser finally decided to show up!" he guffawed and slapped Kotetsu on the shoulder.

"Ow—! Ugh, please don't remind me about that," complained the shorter man as he rubbed the now-smarting skin.

Antonio scowled. "C'mon, you missed an entire day of work because you can't hold your liquor worth a damn. You can't expect to not get shit for it."

For the sake of not giving away his poor mood, Kotetsu forced a grin and gave his comrade a playful shove. "I've gotten plenty of shit for it already, asshole." Well, he would soon anyway, he was sure.

Suddenly he realized he looked a little weird standing in the gym in his regular clothes. "If I'm gonna work out, I better go get changed I guess." It was a convenient excuse to get away, at any rate.

"Go for it." The giant gave him a small wave before returning to the weights.

He headed into the locker room and retrieved his workout clothes. Now that he was within the same vicinity as Barnaby, his nerves had returned with a vengeance. It was up to him now to approach him.

He took his time getting dressed.

Barnaby was still at it with the dummy by the time he emerged from the locker room. As he moved closer, he could tell the younger man had been working up quite a sweat. He seemed to be intently focused, so Kotetsu decided to let him know vocally that he was there.

"Hey Bunny!" he said, kicking things off with a friendly tone.

The blonde whipped his head around, more out of surprise at the sudden sound than anything, but returned his attention to the dummy without a word. Kotetsu took that to mean he acknowledged he was there, at least. "Uh, thanks for bringing my hat for me," he started again.

This time Barnaby did not look, but continued to wail on the dummy. Man, he was not going easy on that thing. His golden curls shook with the impact of each strike. Kotetsu couldn't help but watch the locks of hair get violently tossed to and fro. That's when he noticed Barnaby had a couple of rather large flesh-toned band-aids at the base and back of his neck. Curious.

The older man took a seat on the weight-training equipment next to the dummy station, but as soon as he got situated, Barnaby stopped. Kotetsu watched him, waiting, expecting him to say something, but instead the younger hero grabbed his towel from the floor and mopped his face as he walked away.

Kotetsu followed him.  _So it's like that, huh?_  At least he wasn't the same livid Barnaby his wild imagination had supplied him with earlier.

Barnaby stopped in front of the treadmill and pulled a music player out of his pocket. He was just about to climb onto the machine when Pao-Lin bounced over.

"Tiger's back!" she exclaimed, energetic as ever. "Glad you're feeling okay. We were all worried about you."

Kotetsu offered a smile. "Thanks. I'm much better today, I promise."

Pao-Lin looked at Barnaby, who was just about to slip in his ear buds. "I bet you're happy he's back!"

Having been caught just before procuring an excuse to block out the conversation, the blonde had no choice but to respond. "Yes," he said, rather unconvincingly.

Kotetsu frowned, his level of discomfort rising.  _He is pissed_.

Pao-Lin's face faltered at the unexpectedly indifferent response, but she shrugged it off and gave Kotetsu another smile before going back to practicing her art forms. "Well, I'll leave you alone I guess. Good to have you both back with us!"

The bearded man gave her a small wave of thanks before returning his attention to his partner. They were now the only two on that side of the room. It would be a good time to break the ice and not feel like they were being watched, though he wasn't ready to address the elephant  _quite_  yet.

"So, Bunny, are you happy to be ba—" Kotetsu was cut off when Barnaby started up the treadmill and set off at a brisk pace. His music had been turned up loud enough for Kotetsu to hear, and his eyes were fixed on the wall in front of him. He was clearly bent on ignoring him.

For a moment, Kotetsu seriously contemplated walking over to the wall and disconnecting the treadmill's power source. Now  _that_  would get Barnaby's attention! He decided against it, however, when he realized Barnaby might hurt himself when the treadmill suddenly stopped moving under him, and the last thing he needed right now was another reason for the man to be angry.

Defeated, Kotetsu left and selected some equipment on the other side of the room to busy himself with. He'd already made it to the gym; he may as well stay and be a little productive, lest he leave right after having changed and make himself look suspicious.

As he stretched, Antonio came over to join him and give him some company. The place was fairly quiet with only the four of them there, and with the two blondes already preoccupied with their own activities, it only seemed natural. Kotetsu welcomed the distraction.

The bull tank was always fun to talk to. Their meaningless banter lifted his spirits and took his mind off of things for the most part, although he had positioned himself so that he could sneak a look over at Barnaby every now and again. He kept his glances casual enough that Antonio didn't seem to pick up on anything, which was good. The two of them talked about the new season, making predictions on the outcome of the rankings and who would be King of Heroes. (Kotetsu joked that it would be Bison, to which Antonio punched him in the shoulder for being a sarcastic asshole.) Their conversation progressed into more personal topics, like how their families were doing, what said family members had been up to, and the latest on some of their better-known classmates from high school. Who would have thought that one suck-up transfer student would have ended up on the news the other day for a drug bust? A small part of him almost wished he had bothered with one of his high school reunions, just to see what some of those people had become. Almost.

At last, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Barnaby head toward the locker rooms. He pretended not to notice at first, so as not to give his partner any indication that he'd been waiting for him to move. When a couple of minutes had passed, he set his weights down and stretched.

"Aaahh, well, since I had to take a day off from exercise, I don't want to overdo it today," Kotetsu said. He didn't really feel like he'd worked himself much, but that was the least of his concerns right now. "I've got a lot of paperwork I didn't finish, too, so now would be a good time for me to stop." One solid excuse after the other. "I'll see you tomorrow I'm sure, if we don't get called out before then."

"All right, fine, bail," teased the other man.

Kotetsu turned and left. He wasn't too far behind Barnaby, so he knew he would catch him in the locker room. As long as Antonio didn't pop in, they might actually be able to talk alone for a while.

Upon entering the changing area, he found Barnaby just as he thought he would. He'd already gotten halfway dressed by the time Kotetsu arrived and was just pulling on his boots.  _Damn that boy could shower fast_ , he observed, though he noticed Barnaby skipped washing his hair. For now it just looked like it had been lightly combed. Not unusual. He knew his partner preferred to do his hair care at home, where he had access to all the products he needed for it.

At the sound of his footsteps, Barnaby flicked his eyes up to see who they belonged to, and of course, went on to pretend the newcomer wasn't there. Kotetsu opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't help but find it peculiar when Barnaby stopped in the middle of lacing up his boots to throw his shirt on. It was as if he was trying to hide something, though Kotetsu couldn't imagine what. Strange behavior for a guy who would pose nearly naked for a national magazine at a moment's notice, he thought. Barnaby went back to his boots, though his fingers worked a little faster than they had before.

Kotetsu opened his locker and pulled his clothes out. Barnaby looked like he was preparing to flee, so he had to change quickly if he wanted to keep up. At least he hadn't worked out so much that he absolutely needed to shower, although he wasn't sure he would bother with it right now even if he had.

"You seem energetic today, Bunny." It was a stupid observation, he realized, but he didn't know how to approach the more sensitive issue, and kind of hoped his speaking first might encourage Barnaby to say something.

Unsurprisingly, Barnaby continued to ignore him. Instead of putting his coat on, the younger man stuffed his old gym clothes into a bag and grabbed his jacket out of his locker. He hastily threw the door closed with a loud  _clang_ , which made Kotetsu flinch.

The older man sighed as he watched his partner walk past him. "Bunny, wait—" He threw his tie around his neck and tossed his workout clothes into his locker before going after him. He had to catch up before he lost sight of him.

Thankfully Barnaby hadn't broken into a run, though Kotetsu could see the agitation in his strides. He jogged until he was side-by-side with the other man.

"How long do you intend to follow me?" came an annoyed bark from his partner at last. He did not stop walking, nor did he offer a glance at Kotetsu. He took a detour into an empty hallway, and Kotetsu wasn't sure where he was intending to go, but he didn't care. He didn't have anywhere else to be right now and he was sick of playing this game.

He quickened his pace, just enough to step in front of Barnaby, forcing him to stop. "I'm going to follow you until I get to talk to you."

Barnaby threw him an impatient look and attempted to shoulder past him, but Kotetsu stepped in front of him again, trapping him against the wall. He placed a palm against the cold concrete, physically barring the younger man from moving forward. "Please."

For a moment Kotetsu thought he might just walk around him anyway. Instead, Barnaby paced around for a few steps, contemplating, before turning to face Kotetsu.

At first his eyes were closed, and Kotetsu watched him take a deep breath to calm himself. As he released the air, he folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. When he opened his eyes, his expression was hard, his eyes cold as steel. "You've got thirty seconds to say the right thing."

Those vivid green eyes seemed to pierce right through Kotetsu. Suddenly he forgot how to speak, and tried to remember what he was going to say. With those eyes watching him, he could hardly think through their intensity.

"Twenty seconds."

The reminder of his time limit brought Kotetsu back to the present and he fumbled to regain control of his thoughts. He broke contact with Barnaby's eyes and looked at the floor. He grasped for anything he could spit out.

"About the other day," he started at last. He paused to let his brain catch up, but he couldn't figure out what to say next. What was supposed to be the "right" thing to say?

"If you're just going to stand there, I'm not going to waste any more of my time."

Just before Barnaby began to step in the other direction, Kotetsu blurted out the first thing he thought he should say. "B-Bunny, I'm not mad at you."

When he looked back up to Barnaby, he found the other's face still, but otherwise unreadable. He started to wonder if Barnaby hadn't heard him, though he couldn't imagine how that could be when they were the only two present in the vacant hall. He was about to repeat himself, but Barnaby spoke first.

"I don't even know what I'm supposed to say to that," he said, his voice matching his now-puzzled expression.

Regardless of whether or not that was the "right" thing to say, Kotetsu was glad Barnaby was at least allowing them the opportunity to talk. Feeling a lull, Kotetsu decided he needed to keep the momentum going before things got too awkward.

"I uh, remember you k-kissing me and…on me and stuff…" he reached a hand back to ruffle his hair nervously. Gods this was uncomfortable to say. "…and I was really drunk—I mean, we were  _both_ really drunk, so I'm not judging…" He hoped Barnaby was following him and could fill in the blanks. Kotetsu wasn't entirely sure about everything that had happened, but Barnaby should get the idea.

And that he did. Kotetsu could see him connecting the dots, but his reaction was nothing he had prepared himself for.

Barnaby looked at him like he was crazy.

 _Strike one_.

"You can't be serious…" Barnaby fought to articulate himself. "Are you trying to tell me you think  _I'm_  the one at fault here?"

What little confidence Kotetsu had about his understanding of the situation fled him in an instant. "Errrr…Actually, I don't remember very much…" He gulped. Already he could sense things were about to nosedive.

Barnaby laughed, though it lacked any humor. A chill ran down Kotetsu's spine.

"That is  _quite_  the selective memory you have, old man." There was a painfully sarcastic smile on his face, but his eyes were filled with a range of emotions – none of which were positive.

Kotetsu fidgeted. He was right about Barnaby being on him, wasn't he? "B-But it's true, right? You were on top of me, weren't you?" He tugged his collar down and pointed to the red mark that had faded, but was still visible. "I couldn't do this to myself! Right?"

The younger man shook his head, utterly disbelieving what he was hearing. "No, you couldn't. Just like I couldn't do  _this_  to myself." He pointed to the two patches on his neck.

_Oh, so that's what those are._

The older man swallowed hard again. He couldn't remember doing that, but why would Barnaby lie about it?

As if hearing his thoughts, the blonde continued. "Is that seriously the only thing you remember? Do you not remember anything that you did? At all?"

Unable to speak, Kotetsu merely shook his head. He was terrified. During that moment when he first woke up, he  _did_  actually remember seeing his partner under him at some point, but he refused to admit it happened that way. He would never do that to him. He wouldn't.

But Barnaby didn't need his validation to unveil the truth. His partner remembered  _everything_.

"You…You…" The younger man's voice shook. He fought to control it, but his emotions surged. "You  _begged_  me to let you…let you  _fuck_  me, and then you have the nerve to try and blame this on me? On  _ME_?"

The sound of his voice echoed through the hall, immobilizing Kotetsu. His entire body was numb, except for what felt like a rock inside his stomach. Hearing the unfathomable accusation rendered him speechless. He'd seen Barnaby get mad plenty of times, but he'd never seen him like this.

Barnaby's face was red with anger as he went on. There was no stopping him at this point. "You flirted with me, touched me when I told you it was a bad idea, and took advantage of my inability to think straight to coax me into letting you do it, telling me you wanted,  _needed_  me so badly…" There was a wetness to his eyes. "…and you tell me you're  _forgiving me_? For what? For being stupid enough to think that—" He sniffed and turned his back to Kotetsu, pacing around as he worked to regain his composure.

"No…" The word escaped Kotetsu's mouth without him even realizing it. He couldn't believe his ears. How can any of that be true? He stood there, still as stone, attempting to process everything his partner had said. "Bunny, I would never…" His mouth was so dry. "…But why would I do that?"

 _Strike two_.

Oh gods, he was such an asshole. Barnaby must think he's some sick, perverted old man. That wasn't him at all!

He licked his lips, attempting to wet them again. "I swear, I would never do something like that in my right mind. I was so drunk, Bunny. Hell, I don't even remember it. I promise I've never had thoughts like that about you before." He had to convince Barnaby he wasn't some sicko lusting after his partner. He could hardly believe he even had to say any of this. " _Please_  don't think what I did that night was something I ever truly meant to do to you. I was not myself, I swear."

 _Strike three_.

When the younger man turned back around, instead of some kind of relief, Kotetsu found nothing but sadness in his body language. He wasn't facing him, but Kotetsu could see wet lines trailing down his cheeks.

The brunette was perplexed. What he'd said was meant to reassure Barnaby, not upset him further. Why hadn't that been the right thing to say? It pained him to see his partner hurting like that. Hurting because of  _him_. He felt like the scum of the earth and it seemed like he was saying all the wrong things.

Barnaby wouldn't look at him. He briefly removed his glasses to wipe at his eyes. "I was an idiot to think it could have been anything different," he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. Though Kotetsu couldn't catch his gaze, he could see the corners of his eyes were red.

_What am I supposed to do?_

"I'm so sorry." Kotetsu's voice cracked. He still hadn't come to terms with everything he'd heard, but he was eager to make things right again. He'd worked so hard to gain his partner's trust, and now he could feel it crumbling away by the second. "Bunny…" His vision began to blur all of a sudden. His throat was tight; his chest heavy. He took a step toward Barnaby to try and get him to look at him. If he could just see how bad he felt, maybe he would forgive him for this terrible mistake he had made.

But Barnaby refused to give him that much. The younger man had regained control of his emotions and stopped crying. His aura had shifted; cold and detached, like he was a hundred miles away, even though he was hardly a couple of feet in front of Kotetsu. He wore his mask tight.

The brilliant green eyes met his own one last time, and Kotetsu thought he might suffocate under their heat. He hadn't seen that look since Barnaby had been brainwashed, and he'd prayed he would never see it again.

"I do not want you to call me that anymore."

As his partner walked away, he felt like half his soul had ripped out and left with him. Despite everything he'd heard up to that point, those last words cut him the deepest. He knew everything they meant.  _We're not partners. We're not friends._

He stood there for some time, stunned, trying to understand what just happened. He, who had worked so hard to be a good guy, to uphold his good moral standards, to please everyone, to win over the trust and respect of someone as stubborn as Barnaby…had destroyed everything he stood for without even being conscious of the mistake he had made. The universe must be playing some sick joke on him. He had to be in a dream. His intentions were always good, always selfless, and yet here he was, without his best friend because of something  _he_  had done. Couldn't he just wake up from this god-awful nightmare already?

Kotetsu was beside himself. As the weight of the situation began to fall over him, he crouched low to the ground, wanting nothing more than for the floor to open up and swallow him whole.


	5. Chapter 5

_Only 2:43 AM, huh…_

Here he was, awake again after finally managing to drift off. The clock had read a quarter past one the last time he'd looked at it, yet he didn't feel like he'd even gotten a wink of sleep. His thoughts picked up right where they'd left off – right at the self-loathing and over-analyzing of the last interaction he'd had with Barnaby.

He couldn't stop thinking about it. As soon as he'd stepped inside his apartment, he was grateful to be home, where he could leave the acting at the door and allow his thoughts to consume him. He hadn't gotten a chance to talk to Barnaby again that day (they'd gotten called out for a job eventually, but Barnaby departed well ahead of him, and the matter got resolved quickly), which had been a blessing. He didn't think he could have faced Barnaby through his shame, humiliation, and regret anyway.

So he'd been the one to push Barnaby into doing it, and not the other way around. It was a lot for him to wrap his head around, but he had to accept it. He would have to be the lowest of the low to put his partner through that kind of emotional distress and then not even take responsibility for it. He'd done it, and now it was up to him to come to terms with it and figure out how he was going to fix everything. At this point however, he hadn't a clue how he was going to make the latter happen.

Kotetsu rolled over onto his stomach and propped his chin up on his pillow, his eyes directed at the blinds ahead of him. His eyelids were heavy, yet his mind was too busy to give him rest. So he thought. And thought. And thought.

Now that he actually had time to mull everything over, he began to ask questions. What prompted him to act that way? He couldn't imagine just spontaneously ripping off his pants and taking the younger man right then and there for no reason. That would be completely unlike him. Barnaby said he had  _begged_  him to do those things. Kotetsu instinctively brought a hand to cover his face, his cheeks burning. If he had begged him for it, he had to have been uncontrollably horny.

Okay, sure. He might have been feeling a little bit lonely lately. He had friends of course, but he missed being  _physically_  close; having someone to hug and kiss and touch. The only person in his life that he could hold and hug was his daughter. Not only was she a long train ride and a couple of buses away, she was at that age where it was no longer cool to hug and kiss your parents – even if her father was a high profile celebrity hero. Not that hugs and kisses from his daughter were even in the same league as those from a lover, but he was deprived of it all nonetheless.

And dang it, he'd always had better control than that. Every now and again he'd get a little worked up after catching glimpse of a very attractive figure or two —  _naturally_  — but it was never something he couldn't take care of himself if it got bad enough. He'd never once contemplated seeking out someone's service to satisfy himself. Frankly, that kind of thing didn't appeal to him. Getting aroused was one thing, but actually undressing and getting intimate with someone he didn't love and trust, let alone someone he didn't even  _know_ , was just about as unsexy as sex could get.

So of course, the question remained of why he had slipped up with Barnaby.

Kotetsu sighed. He could see where this was going now.

He couldn't honestly recall a time when he had been both "lonely"  _and_  with such a trusted friend. In private, on top of that. With that much alcohol in his system, his unrestrained urges must have taken over. Since Barnaby was someone he was close to and trusted, and he had  _let_  him do it, there was nothing left to hold him back. Not when rationale was long behind him.

Kotetsu tensed a little when he realized Barnaby  _hadn't_  stopped him. But why? Yes, he was obviously drunk, but if he had been coherent enough to remember the entire night, shouldn't he have had the presence of mind to stop Kotetsu still?

But then again, he'd said Kotetsu talked him into it somehow. Perhaps Barnaby had just been in the same boat as him: lonely, desperate, and too intoxicated to care. If that was the case, it wouldn't have taken much to sway him. Kotetsu could hardly blame him for that. And to think, less than 24 hours ago, he had been trying to pin this on Barnaby. What an  _idiot_.

With a groan, the old man rolled out of bed. He needed something to help him relax. He made his way downstairs and into the kitchen. Some kind of hot tea would be nice. He browsed through his pantry until he came across a box of chamomile tea bags. Perfect.

After putting a kettle of water on the stove, Kotetsu prepared a mug with a tea bag and then took a seat on the sofa. He hadn't let the curtains down, so the large open windows allowed the living room to glow with the city's lights. The clock on the wall told him it was nearing three in the morning, the quiet ticks of its faithful pendulum unceasing.

He couldn't help but wonder if Barnaby was being kept awake by his own thoughts right now too. He pictured him lying in bed, a forlorn look on his features, probably wondering how he was going to face the day, wondering how he was going to deal with Kotetsu after everything that had happened. How  _was_  one supposed to act around a co-worker who had just slept with him?

Kotetsu's breath caught in his throat as a startling possibility dawned on him. His eyes grew wide, horror-struck.

… _I didn't take his virginity, did I?_

His heart raced as he panicked. If he had stolen the younger man's virginity, he would never be able to forgive himself. Barnaby deserved so much better than that. On top of everything he'd done, if he had taken that from him too…

Before he could stop himself, his finger was on his call band, dialing up Barnaby. He had to ask him. He had to be sure.

The band rang a couple of times before an irritated, but tired voice accepted the call and responded.

"…It's 3 o'clock in the morning. Don't call me." The line disconnected.

Kotetsu hesitated. He didn't want to anger him, but he had to know. He would be up all night if he couldn't ask. So he dialed him again.

The line rang for a while, and Kotetsu thought he would ignore it, but to his surprise, the "sound only" screen popped back up and Barnaby's voice came again. "Damn it old man, what?"

Nervous though he was, Kotetsu tried to make it quick, so as not to be too much of a bother. "I just want to ask you a question."

"What is so important that you need to wake me up?"

Kotetsu bit his lip. "I'm sorry. I can't sleep. I keep thinking about everything and I feel terrible."

The other man sighed, his patience evaporating. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Please, Bunny." Kotetsu didn't know what he would do if Barnaby wouldn't give him a chance to ask.

"I told you not to call me that anymore."

"But Bun— "

"I am not going to ask you again."

His words stung. It felt so, so wrong to say it, but he didn't want Barnaby to hang up on him. "…Sorry. Barnaby." The name felt foreign on his lips.

The younger man sighed again. "What is this question that can't wait until tomorrow?"

Kotetsu wasn't sure how to word it. "…Have you…done it before?"

"Done what?"

The older man shifted. "You know…" He swallowed. "I mean…I wasn't your first…right?"

There was a pause. Kotetsu wasn't sure what to make of it.

"I can't believe you're asking me that."

Kotetsu bit his lip again nervously. "Please tell me," he pressed, anxious. He was so afraid to hear the answer, but he had to know. "I just realized it might be a possibility, and I…" —  _feel awful, scared_  — "…I just need to know."

The line was quiet again, the silence deafening to his ears. The interval of dead air made Kotetsu's heart pound in his throat as he waited for the answer.

"…Yes, that was my first time. Okay?"

The color drained from Kotetsu's face. That was that. He had taken that, too. "God…"

Barnaby's voice was a little weaker this time, vulnerable. "Are we done now?"

The older man couldn't respond. A new, powerful wave of guilt flooded over him as he understood now just how badly he'd screwed up.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," came the younger man's voice again, wavering – or was that the reception? "Please don't bring it up again. It obviously isn't helping. It hurts. I'm tired of hurting. I'm done talking about it."

As the light screen minimized, the called ended.

Kotetsu leaned over his coffee table, his face buried into his hands. Just when he thought things were at their worst, they'd gone even further downhill. He shouldn't have made that call. He should have kept his question to himself. Now that he knew, he felt sick.

He slammed a fist down onto the table as he yelled in frustration, causing a couple of old empty beer cans to bounce off the edge and onto the carpet. The loud crash of the aluminum clanging against the wooden table top roused him from his brief fit. He rested his forehead on the edge and worked to calm himself. No, he didn't regret asking. He needed to know the extent of the damage he'd done, whether he liked it or not.

It was only then that Kotetsu noticed the shrill whistle coming from the kitchen. The water was ready.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself up to stand and slinked into the kitchen. He turned the burner off and pulled the kettle away from the stove. If there was ever a time he needed this tea, now would be it. He poured the steaming liquid into his mug and dumped the excess into the sink. As the tea steeped, he carried his mug with him and returned to the sofa.

The ceramic cup was warm in his hands, a small comfort amidst the darkness clouding his thoughts. Mindlessly, he sipped on the herbal drink, the flavor light at first, but strengthening with each sampling.

He rested his elbows on his knees, both hands cupping the mug as his eyes focused past it. All he could see was the image of Barnaby under him again, but it was further tainted with what he knew of it now.  _That was his first time. I stole his virginity. I did that. I took that special experience from him_. Over and over he replayed it, until tears stung his eyes.  _What a damned fool. What a damned fool_.

By the time his mug was half empty, his thoughts began to slow down a bit. Barnaby was right. Each time he opened his mouth, he seemed to be digging his hole deeper and deeper. It would be better for both of their sakes if he didn't bring it up again. If prying further into the subject was hurting Barnaby, the least he could do was spare him additional pain and let it go. At this point, he didn't want to keep increasing the distance between them. Any distance was already too much.

Finishing the rest of the tea, Kotetsu set his mug down. His body started to feel heavier. A combination of the light sedative and his emotional exhaustion was enough to pull his eyelids closed at last. He settled onto the couch and gratefully let sleep claim him.


	6. Chapter 6

Kotetsu was initially pulled from his dreams by the golden glow of the morning sun that hit his face, but it was a sore back and a stiff neck that got him to open his eyes and sit up. He squinted as his vision adjusted to the brightness. It had to be at least ten in the morning, by the looks of it. Blinking the blurriness away, he tapped his call band to pull up the time: 10:21 AM.

Kotetsu rubbed his face. His eyes felt a little puffy, and there was a hint of a headache as well. He'd slept the rest of the night, but the odd hours had left him fairly groggy. A long, hot shower would hopefully clear that up.

It didn't take long for him to remember what he had learned last night, which momentarily stalled his strides on his way to the bathroom. He pushed the thought away. He didn't want to think about that right now.

His shower was not as relaxing as he would have liked it to be, but it woke him up at least. He went upstairs and pulled his usual garb out of the drawers under the bed. After swiping his watch and bracelet from the bedside table, he went back downstairs and fetched a glass of water. He didn't have to look in his pantry to know that he didn't have anything around to eat, so he decided he would stop somewhere on his way to work.

The weather outside was bright and sunny, a stark contrast from his gloomy mood. Clear blue skies and a cool, gentle breeze promised to bring a pleasant day. With the window rolled down, the air current threatened to steal his hat, so he pulled it off and set it in the passenger seat beside him. The warm sunlight even managed to break through the cloud that hung over Kotetsu's head, injecting him with a sliver of optimism. Just a sliver. There was a lot that worried him, a lot to be fixed, but if he could just take things one step at a time, maybe he would make it through the day. All he had to do was get through it, and endurance was his strong point, wasn't it? There was a small comfort in knowing that the worst of it was now behind him, or at least he hoped that was the case.

He wasn't all that hungry, but he knew he needed to eat something. Normally he would just grab a quick breakfast sandwich from one of the many fast food joints along the way, but he did not think his stomach would agree with something that greasy this morning, so he settled on stopping at a small bakery a few blocks down the road.

The strong aroma found his nostrils before he'd even stepped out of his van. Their front door was propped open, probably to lure in people just like him. The air was thick with a sweet mix of brewing coffee and freshly glazed donuts.

It seemed he had just missed the morning rush, as he was the first in line when he walked up to the counter. The owner greeted him with a friendly voice, though she wore a look of concern when her eyes met his.

Suddenly, Kotetsu was a little self-conscious. Had he forgotten to shave his stubble? No, he did that. He hadn't eaten yet, so there couldn't be anything on his face, so what—

Without a word, the short woman bent behind the glass case and pulled something off one of the middle racks. A moment later, she placed a petite cake down in front of Kotetsu, utterly confusing him.

"Er, actually, I was going to order a croissant…" he stammered, thinking there must be some misunderstanding.

But the woman offered a knowing smile. "This is my treat. You look like you have had a rough morning," she said, a little sympathetic. "I'll get your croissant."

Kotetsu flinched. Did he really look that bad? "Ah…thanks."

The older woman smiled again and returned to the case to retrieve his order. "Would you like a coffee to take with you?"

The hero nodded. "Yes, please. A medium, just black."

He fished his wallet out to pay, and as the owner boxed his complimentary cake, he dropped some change into her tip jar. He waved his thanks as he turned and left.  _Sweet lady_ , he thought, even if the gesture made him a little uncomfortable, knowing he was that easy to read.

He had to agree, however, that this dark mood wouldn't do. To take his mind off of things, he decided it might be refreshing to walk around and window shop before heading into work. There were a couple of blocks of shops and street vendors near Apollon, which he was usually driving past on his way to work, so today he thought he would actually stop by and take the time to check them out. If he received a call, he'd be able to respond within minutes, but there was plenty to explore and amuse himself with if he didn't.

With that thought in mind, Kotetsu drove the rest of the way to work and parked in the garage, but instead of heading into the building, he hit the streets to distract himself for an hour or two.

* * *

It turned out to be a good thing that he'd decided to stick near Apollon's building, as his call band began to buzz, like clockwork.

"Bonjour, Heroes," came a familiar and ever-confident voice. "Presently, there is a reckless driver speeding through traffic, heading north on I-87. He just passed exit 13. Judging by his behavior, we suspect he may be under the influence of drugs or alcohol. He bumped into a taxi near downtown and took off, and I've just sent Rock Bison and Origami Cyclone to make sure everyone involved is okay. He is putting a lot more people in danger. You two are to arrive at the scene as quickly as possible, and drive safely. I'll keep you updated on his position, as always."

After acknowledging the report, Kotetsu tapped his call band to dial Mr. Saitou, who picked up almost automatically. "I'm right outside Apollon, so I'll be there soon. No need to send out the truck or anything."

Saitou squeaked what Kotetsu could only assume was an affirmative response before he started heading that way.

He was able to reach the entrance within a couple of minutes. When the elevator doors opened to let him off on Saitou's engineering level, the first object his eyes caught sight of was the back of Barnaby's trademark jacket.

His stomach did a somersault. He hadn't mentally prepared himself for their encounter this morning, but his anxiety was quickly replaced by the urgency of the situation. He followed the blonde into the suit room to change.

And so began his first  _real_  day back on the job with Barnaby. He had to remind himself that today was the ice breaker, and things would be less awkward tomorrow. All he had to do was get through it.

* * *

After suiting up, the duo made for the garage on the bottom floor. Neither of them had yet attempted any small talk, so the only thing heard inside the elevator was the delicate chime of the changing floor numbers as they descended. Kotetsu silently thanked Saitou for having given his suit's design a faceplate with full coverage.

As the doors opened, they filed out without a word. Considering they had last ridden separately, Kotetsu assumed Saitou must have done a quick tune up on their chasers since then, as both vehicles were joined together in the double chaser mode.

It wasn't unusual, given that they almost always rode out together, but Barnaby was quick to fix that. He reached the bikes just ahead of Kotetsu and slammed a hand down on the top button of Tiger's bike, causing the green and white addition to clink and clank as it snapped back into its lonely form. He threw a leg over his own chaser and sped off, leaving Kotetsu in a streak of pink light. Evidently, teamwork was  _not_  on his agenda today.

Though a bit dejected by the motion, Kotetsu did not delay mounting his chaser and following.

It took them only about five minutes to catch up to the speeding car. Its erratic maneuvering made it easy to spot as it threaded through traffic. Thank goodness it wasn't rush hour yet. Barnaby and Tiger were able to weave around cars with ease, though they had to be careful of the vehicles that started hitting the brakes in surprise as soon as the speeding driver flew past them. The pair followed closely, but kept some distance as they each calculated the best way to approach.

The traffic may not have been too congested, but they still needed to be mindful of all the civilians' whereabouts. Tiger considered using his Wild Shoot to puncture one of the tires, but decided it would be too dangerous. If he sent the vehicle into a tumble at this speed, not only would it probably kill the driver, but it would most certainly cause a pile up in the process. Their best bet would be to corner the driver and force him off the road.

"Barnaby, we should get Blue Rose or Fire Emblem to come help us surround him," Tiger suggested. Truthfully, he would have liked to just connect his bike with Barnaby's so he could forget about driving and jump onto the runaway car like he normally would, but he didn't expect Barnaby to be too keen on him doing that when he had already made it clear that they were driving separately.

Not unexpectedly, Barnaby dismissed his idea immediately. "We don't have time to wait for others. He needs to be taken off the road as quickly as possible before he hits someone else."

Tiger couldn't argue with that, but he wasn't sure how Barnaby expected to take the guy out on his own when he was the one who didn't have the option of giving up the wheel to take action. Maybe he was suggesting he should join with him after all?

"All right, then I'll transform my bike and jump his car." With a rev of the engine, the green chaser picked up speed to catch up to Barnaby's.

"No, I will handle this," was all Barnaby offered before charging ahead and lining himself up with the drugged driver.

Apparently, he had something in mind, and since Kotetsu knew he was bent on doing things his way, he resigned himself to a defensive position. He knew it was best not to step on Barnaby's toes right now anyway. "All right, do as you will." Kotetsu held back a bit to watch, ready to take action the moment something went wrong.

It appeared the criminal hadn't even noticed Barnaby approaching until the scarlet-clad hero leaned his bike into the driver's door, attempting to nudge him toward the right side of the road. But when the driver did notice, he jerked the wheel, clipping the back end of a neighboring vehicle and causing it to spin off onto the shoulder and into the side railing. Luckily, the car behind it had been far enough away to move around it in time, avoiding a pile up. Kotetsu immediately made for the de-commissioned car, leaving the rest to Barnaby.

When he pulled up to it, he found two people inside – two women who looked to be in their early twenties. The driver was dazed, and appeared to have gotten a generous dose of whiplash, but was otherwise unscathed from what he could gather. The passenger however, appeared to be unconscious. The blood running down the right side of her head indicated she must have hit it against the window when the car collided with the rail. Kotetsu went straight for her side.

Activating his power, he ran up to the passenger door and pulled the crumpled remains of it off completely. "Miss, can you hear me?"

No response, as he expected.

Yanking off a glove, he gently pushed two fingers against the young woman's neck to check for a pulse. He felt a slow tempo against his fingertips, and noticed that the girl's chest was rising and falling. Kotetsu let out a sigh of relief. The girl should be okay.

"Tiger, we saw the crash. How bad is it?" asked the producer from the HeroTV helicopter that had just flown by moments before.

" There are two women; one unconscious with a head injury. She's breathing. The driver is alert, but dizzy. I think she's only suffering from some whiplash, but I don't know for sure," he responded.

"We've got someone on the emergency line right now. I'll pass along the victims' conditions. Someone should arrive shortly."

Kotetsu tried to examine the passenger's injury, but it was hard to tell the extent of the damage under her dark, blood-matted hair. If there was a break in her skull, Kotetsu didn't want to risk making things worse, so he refrained from tending to the bleeding. He glanced up at the driver and noticed she looked like she was ready to pass out, probably from shock more than anything else.

"Ma'am, stay with me please. Help will be here soon." Kotetsu waved a hand to get her attention. When she looked at him, he continued. "You will be fine. Just talk to me, all right? Your friend will be okay. Everything will be okay."

She nodded, and he continued to talk to her, doing his best to keep her calm. The car did not appear to be a threat to their safety, so he did not move either of them.

Kotetsu stayed with the car until medics arrived, and with their direction, helped retrieve the victims from the totaled automobile. To his relief, he was not notified of any other accidents, and Agnes told him that Barnaby managed to force the criminal off the road without further incident and made the arrest.

The veteran was glad for that, though he had to admit he felt a little...useless. For some reason, it was hard to be happy about what little he was able to do. He'd done what he always preferred to do, which was to ensure the safety of the people. It was just that normally he and Barnaby would tackle the criminal together and coordinate their moves to make it happen. But this time, Barnaby had handled the criminal entirely without his aid, no problem. He hadn't needed him at all.

He wasn't allowed much time to dwell, however, as his partner's voice broke through his thoughts over the helmet's sound system.

"Our interview and photoshoot session is in an hour, so don't be late," came a reminder for something he knew nothing about.

"Eh? What interview, and what photoshoot?" Kotetsu wasn't aware they had any other obligations today.

His question was met with an exasperated sigh. "With  _Limelight Magazine_ , at 2:30."

"Oh..." It did not ring a bell, though admittedly, he rarely ever looked at their schedule. It hit him now how dependent he had gotten on Barnaby to remind him about everything. Surely he'd brought it up in the first place because he knew Kotetsu hadn't looked.

"I'm not going to be your personal secretary, old man," chided the younger hero. "Please be a responsible grown up and keep track of your schedule."

Kotetsu scowled at that last condescending comment. It had been a long time since he'd had to deal with Barnaby's self-righteous brat attitude, and he hadn't missed it one bit. "Okay, okay," he conceded, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Either Barnaby didn't notice or he chose to ignore it, as no snarky comment followed.

He glanced over his shoulder and saw the second of the two ladies being lifted into the ambulance. With both of them now in the hands of the medical professionals, Kotetsu left the scene and headed back toward Apollon Media to get cleaned up.

* * *

Their limo was waiting for them out front, ready to escort the two to a small studio across town. Mr. Lloyds had been there to greet them, as always. The ride to the studio was quiet, save for the occasional comment from their manager about how wonderfully smooth Barnaby's arrest had been.  _Nevermind the people who got hit_ , Kotetsu thought with a slight bitterness. Despite their earlier exchange, Barnaby seemed to be in higher spirits than he'd been in since the unspeakable. Not talkative still, but confident. Maybe a little arrogant, even. Perhaps his arrest had been just what the doctor ordered.

Kotetsu knew he should be happy for him, but nothing felt right. He gave his partner a sideways glance. That attitude. That haughty look on his face. Ignoring him. Between all of that and his refusal to work together, Kotetsu half wondered if it was NC1977 again. But he knew he would never be given the luxury of actually going back in time. He just hoped it wouldn't take nearly as long to get back on his good side as it had to get on it in the first place, because he wasn't sure if he was ready to deal with  _that_  all over again.

Upon their arrival, the two were taken up to the second floor of the building and straight into the dressing room to get ready. They weren't allotted a lot of time for this session (the studio rental must be expensive), but the experienced makeup and hair specialists were there to make sure they would be ready in a timely fashion. Kotetsu never took too long since, thanks to his domino mask, he didn't require much makeup. Barnaby, on the other hand, took much longer, so Kotetsu got to start his individual photos first.

Nothing provocative today, to his relief. He had donned a dark grey pin-striped business suit (unusually tight though it was), with a silky black dress shirt and a silver tie. His hair had been slicked back, and if it wasn't for the mask, he might actually pass for a pompous CEO of some thriving corporation. He was told the theme was "Back in Business" or something cheesy like that, thus the attire. He was asked to pose with a fancy-looking chair, which he wasn't sure what to do with other than sit in it, but he wasn't above asking the photographer to manually pose him as he pleased.

About fifteen minutes into the shoot, Barnaby strolled out of the dressing room. His outfit was the reverse of Kotetsu's: a suit made of a dark silver silk-like material, well-tailored to compliment his figure. He wore a black dress shirt like Kotetsu, and his necktie matched the pinstriped fabric of his suit as well. The bearded man had never imagined a monochrome palette would suit Barnaby since he was so used to seeing him in reds, but he looked absolutely  _sharp_.

When he realized he was staring at his partner, he quickly averted his gaze before the other caught him, but the photographer had noticed his distraction the moment he looked away. "Excuse me, Mr. Tiger, but could you please look at the camera for me? Thanks."

Kotetsu forced a sheepish smile and obliged.

After a few shots of one last solo pose, they asked Barnaby to step in for their partner pictures. They did a few standard ideas – posing side by side, straightening their ties, sitting on the chair with one in the seat and the other on an arm, pretending to look over paperwork.

And then the photographer asked them to hold onto the handle of a briefcase. But instead of simply sharing the handle, they were to hook each other's arms at the elbow as they did so. Neither voiced any complaints at the request, but Kotetsu could feel how rigid Barnaby's arm was as they looped their arms together and held the briefcase up. They hadn't so much as bumped into each other since everything went down.  _Tomorrow won't be as awkward as today_ , Kotetsu mentally reminded himself as he grit his teeth. He silently prayed the photographer would make this one quick.

But he would have no such luck. In fact, the photographer asked them to move closer together, as they had been standing far apart. He needed them to fit into a close-up, so he had them shoulder-to-shoulder, at just enough of an angle that the sides of their heads touched as well. Kotetsu willed time to speed the hell up.

When he was finally relieved from the set, Kotetsu released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Barnaby would be occupied with his solo shots for a while, thank the heavens.

He met with the interviewer, who had been waiting patiently off to the side, and sat down with him to knock out some of the questions on his own. They always reserved a few questions for the pair to answer together in hopes of capturing some of their dynamics, but he had plenty of personal questions to get through too. A lot of them were much the same as other interviews, like "What's your sign?" and "Would you consider yourself to be introverted or extroverted?" and "Where do you see yourself in 20 years?" He bullshitted his answers most of the time anymore. He didn't like the idea of answering too honestly, lest someone who knew him outside of work match up his answers and figure out his identity, but he hated these things anyway and rarely took them seriously.

The silver-suited hero joined them when the photographer was satisfied with his sets. Now that they were together, they were going to get all the questions about their teamwork. Kotetsu braced himself. He knew he was going to have to improvise a lot of good answers for a lot of awkward questions.

 _Here we go_.

The short, dark-haired interviewer seemed tickled to have both of them with him now. He started his hand-held recorder back up and proceeded with the first question.

"So, how does it feel to be working together again in the First League? With the lineup identical to that of your first season as a team, it's a bit of a blast from the past!"

A  _painfully_  accurate observation, Kotetsu thought.

"Mr. Brooks, shall we start with your response?"

Kotetsu was lucky in that they almost always asked Barnaby's thoughts first. It used to make him feel shafted, but today at least, it was a blessing.

His partner gave the man a well-rehearsed answer. "I am looking forward to working with the First League heroes again. I have a lot of memories with HeroTV, and I'm happy to be a part of it once more. I'm confident that we'll have a shot at the top two spots this year." He gave Kotetsu a practiced smile. "Right, Tiger?"

 _Such a smooth talker_. It was something to admire, really.

Kotetsu mirrored his fake politeness. "Yeah, well, I've been part of the First League for a long time. I've known some of the heroes longer than others, but they've all become like a second family to me really, so it's good to be back. I may have a handicap this time around, but my passion for it is all the same."

So far, so good.

"Oh, a wonderful outlook!" agreed the interviewer enthusiastically. "Speaking of which, Tiger, with your power down to only a minute, do you think it will get you in trouble?"

 _Obviously, asshole_. "It certainly doesn't help, but I'm not worried. I've only ever used my power for 5 minutes at a time anyway, and I've been able to save people without it. I did okay in the Second League, at any rate. And besides," he forced his lips into a jovial grin – he was going for the gold here, "I know that if I fall,  _this_  guy will be here to catch me in his arms, like always."

The interviewer laughed. "Of course! The famous 'princess carry' that started everything. We love it." He turned to face Barnaby again. "Mr. Brooks, rumor has it that you were initially asked to return to the First League alone. Is that true?"

Barnaby nodded. "Yes."

"And is it true that you refused to do it unless Wild Tiger moved up with you?"

Kotetesu winced inwardly. This guy was starting to ask the wrong questions. When he looked at Barnaby, he was surprised to catch the younger man's mask falter for a moment, but it was corrected just as quickly as it had fallen.

"Yes. He is my partner, after all. It wouldn't be the same by myself, and I'm sure many fans would be disappointed, too." He added a wink for a playful touch. A nice recovery.

"Absolutely! There's been nothing quite like you two as a team." He beamed at the veteran. "Tiger, could you ever imagine working without Barnaby, like you did back before he came along?"

The question was more of a rhetorical one, but it hit Kotetsu in a soft spot. The older man swallowed. Was this guy deliberately trying to push their buttons? Kotetsu had to remember, though, that to everyone else, they were chummy as ever, and nothing was different. He could tell Barnaby was searching for something else to look at.

As much of a direct hit the question was, Kotetsu could only answer honestly. No matter what Barnaby thought of him right now,  _his_  feelings weren't any different, and if he was being given a chance to say so without saying it to Barnaby directly, he was going to take it.

"No," he started, his voice taking on a serious tone. "No, I couldn't imagine doing that. Even if my limited power didn't make me more dependent on his help, I would never want to be without him again." Suddenly feeling a lump in his throat, he bit the inside of his cheek in an effort to keep his emotions under control. He hadn't meant to let this fear surface like that, but as the words rolled off his tongue, some of the pain came with it unexpectedly.

Kotetsu didn't dare look at Barnaby's face, but he saw an ivory hand clench at the suit fabric it rested on top of.

Fortunately, the interviewer remained oblivious to whatever was going on between them and excitedly commented on how inseparable the two were before progressing to his next questions. Kotetsu was more than ready to move on, and if the rest of the interview was going to be like this, Kotetsu wasn't sure he would make it. At the very least, he knew he was going to need a strong glass of something when he got home.

 _Today is the worst of it_ , he reminded himself once more, reciting it in his head like a mantra.  _It_ will  _get easier after this. Once you've hit the bottom, there's nowhere left to go but up. Tomorrow, we will breathe a little easier_.


	7. Chapter 7

But things did not get any easier.

With each passing day, Barnaby seemed to be pulling further and further away. Not just from Kotetsu, but from everyone, and every _thing_. He did not make any attempts to socialize, from what Kotetsu could tell, and little seemed to interest him. The only thing that truly gripped him was hero work – particularly, making the arrests. When he was out on the field, his focus on his targets was intense. He seemed to see nothing else as he chased. His pursuits were aggressive, as if he had a personal grudge with each and every suspect.

And of course, he did it all without even looking at his "partner" most of the time.

After a week had passed, Kotetsu started to fret. Barnaby was slipping away, and there was nothing he could do about it. If he tried to talk to him, he would upset Barnaby again, and in turn make things go south faster, but even as he kept quiet, the gap between them grew wider yet. He was damned if he did something, damned if he didn't.

The longer this went on, the more he was beginning to feel Barnaby's absence. Even though he saw Barnaby every day, there may as well have been a forty-foot wall between them. There was no teasing, no joking, no mindless bickering, no discussion, nothing. Only fabricated friendliness and plastic smiles when the cameras were around; uncomfortable silence the rest of the time. This new emptiness was not easy for Kotetsu to adjust to, and it was becoming increasingly difficult for him to hide.

Frankly, he was lost. He did not expect it to be a cake walk, but he at least figured time would start healing. He'd done well to give Barnaby the space he needed, yet the situation was not improving. Barnaby was obviously not getting over it. When they weren't working, if Barnaby was even around, he seemed bothered. Very bothered. Through his façade, Kotetsu could see he was very tired. Most of the time he did not seem angry so much as he just looked unhappy, which really wasn't any better. Kotetsu could read him, at least. The man was good enough of an actor to fool just about anyone else, but after all the time Kotetsu had spent with him over the last couple of years, he could never mistake his fake smiles for a real one.

…He really missed seeing those real smiles. Especially the ones he was personally responsible for. That warm, playful gaze; that soft, reserved chuckle you could almost miss if you didn't know to listen for it. Even those goofy, drunken grins when the alcohol made his eyes a little cross. Hell, those were even cuter. The corners of Kotetsu's own lips twitched in amusement at the thought, but quickly fell back in place as the memory passed. He didn't know when he would get to see those smiles again, but he knew it wouldn't be any time soon.

Knowing he couldn't  _say_  anything, Kotetsu merely watched. And oh, did he watch. He found he often couldn't take his eyes off of Barnaby, despite how much he knew his partner loathed him right now. He couldn't help it. When a huge chunk of him was missing, and yet the missing piece was constantly dangling right in front of him, just out of reach, it was impossible to look away. He wanted nothing more than to feel whole again, and it was beyond frustrating that he could do nothing. The ordeal began to consume him.

There was no question that their unresolved quarrel was plaguing Barnaby's thoughts as well. Kotetsu had just been rounding the corner to their office one evening when he found Barnaby alone at his desk. It was unusual to see his partner there so late in the day, and the unexpected sight of him made Kotetsu freeze just at the entrance.

Barnaby hadn't seemed to notice him approaching, as he did not turn his head. Kotetsu could only see the side of his face, but he noticed Barnaby was staring across at his messy desk. At first, he figured he was probably just mentally scrutinizing his piles of unfinished paperwork. Yet, there was a notably dismal look on his features, and his eyes were distant, as if they were focused past the desk. Instead, he must have been lost in thought. It was a sight that made Kotetsu's heart clench. Instinctively, he wanted to reach out to him, to ruffle his hair and tell him everything was going to be okay. But of course, he couldn't. That wasn't his place anymore.

Remembering that he had come to pick up an important document for Saitou, Kotetsu cleared his throat and proceeded to his desk. He only glanced at Barnaby, and that was enough to see that the man looked startled, which quickly switched to irritation. Barnaby turned his head back to his computer screen, busying himself with whatever he had momentarily forgotten about, but Kotetsu would not bother him long anyway. He picked up the manila folder he had come for and left.

It was during this limbo that Kotetsu realized how big of a part Barnaby had become in his life. Before he'd screwed everything up, he had finally been comfortable. Even if he himself had never become an all-star, having Barnaby as his partner made being a hero more than just a promise he'd been keeping for his late wife; it became  _fun_  again, and when they worked together to save lives and throw schmucks in jail, he felt like he was actually  _doing_  something. Helping Barnaby find closure in his own troubled life had served as an unexpected stepping stone on his way to re-establishing his self-worth. Without having someone who actually needed him, someone for him to take care of…

Frankly, Kotetsu didn't like to think about where he'd be if Barnaby hadn't come along.

Miserably, he realized he was losing something very, very precious to him.

Gods, did he miss him.

* * *

Another half a week later, the two were called in to speak with Mr. Lloyds. Apparently the higher-ups had started to notice their lack of teamwork recently, and they were not happy about it. Their manager did not pry, but firmly reminded them that they are a team and they are expected to act like one. Even if Barnaby was well on his way to the number one spot, they had an image to uphold for the public.

Barnaby was not too thrilled about the lecture, but he complied.

The days following, the pair rode out to the crime scenes together. Tiger wasn't sure if he was glad for it or not. While it was nice feeling like they were a team again, he knew it was only being tolerated, and it wasn't exactly pleasant. As Barnaby drove, Kotetsu could see his irritation through his armor. The few times Kotetsu offered his suggestions, Barnaby ignored them and proceeded with his own plans of action. It was just as well; Barnaby was smart enough to know the most efficient ways of dealing with the enemies and always called the best solutions anyway. After a while, Kotetsu stopped bothering.  _So much for the teamwork_.

He began to wonder if he should have just returned to the Second League after all. He wouldn't  _want_  to do that, but with Barnaby doing just  _dandy_  on his own and preferring to work away from Kotetsu, maybe that would have been the best thing for both of them. He'd almost prefer the isolation over pissing Barnaby off every day at this point. Almost. But even if he talked with Mr. Lloyds about it, he knew he was under contract with the First League at least until the season was over, and they weren't even a full month into the current season yet. So he resigned himself to be patient.

By about a week after their reminder to work together, they had fallen into a routine of sorts. They rode out to their missions together wordlessly, and when they arrived at the scene, Barnaby went after the criminals while Kotetsu protected the people and supported in any way that he could. Many of the other heroes, now used to Barnaby's inexorable pursuits, opted for supportive roles as well. Barnaby had become pushy, and the others learned to just stay out of his way. They knew he would capture the criminals he was after, so they simply let him be if the numbers were low enough for Barnaby to handle it on his own.

But this aggression was uncharacteristic of Barnaby – at least now that he was no longer searching for his parents' killer – and it worried Kotetsu. He knew what the root of Barnaby's anger was, of course, and he did not want to see his partner lose control and start taking his frustration out on the criminals. Even if they were the bad guys, they were still obligated not to harm them. It didn't matter if Barnaby didn't see them as such, but they  _were_  still partners, and it was Kotetsu's responsibility to make sure his comrade kept a cool head.

This line of thought was what prompted Kotetsu to confront Barnaby while they were out on duty one day. They had just arrived near downtown, where a small group of attention-deprived punks were stirring up trouble in a popular shopping area. As reported, they were armed with unusually sophisticated weaponry for their ages – most likely stolen from somewhere. As soon as the two heroes stepped out of the Apollon truck and onto the scene, Kotetsu could already see Barnaby's fixation setting in by his posture. He'd been in a particularly irritable mood all day (more than usual, even), and Kotetsu couldn't imagine he would have any patience now. In a minute he would be off like a bullet after the criminals, and the bearded man feared his partner's anger would get him in trouble.

Just as Barnaby prepared to take off, Kotetsu grabbed a hold of one of his clear pink pauldrons. His partner's familiar, expressionless mask jerked around to face him. Despite its neutral features, Kotetsu swore he could see it scowling at him, but he did not let go of his shoulder.

"You can hit me, if you want," Kotetsu stated, his voice low, but firm.

Barnaby had not seemed to be expecting such a wild suggestion. "What? I'm not going to hit you." However, seemingly aware of where this conversation might be going, he pressed a button at his helmet's lower jaw, muting his built-in microphone. He flipped his faceplate up to continue speaking. "Turn your mic off."

 _Probably not a bad idea_. He certainly would not want to broadcast this kind of thing to the entire HeroTV staff. Kotetsu pressed the same button on his own helmet and watched the mic icon on his visor's computer screen switch to "MUTE". He pushed his faceplate up and forced himself to meet Barnaby's eyes. They were no less devoid of annoyance than he would have expected.

"I know you're angry at me, so if it would make you feel better, I want you to hit me," Kotetsu went on. "Hit me as hard as you need to. I'd rather you take your aggression out on someone who deserves it than see you do it to one of the criminals."

Barnaby huffed and brought a hand up to his helmet, ready to flip it back down. "I don't have time for this nonsense. Said criminals are going to be out of my sight if I waste anymore time talking to you. "

Indeed, it seemed Kotetsu was talking to the "Super Rookie" hero again, except this time it was all about being the one to make the arrests more than it was about accumulating points. Were they really back to this? What had happened to his values? "You may be making a lot of arrests, but that doesn't mean you're doing your job as a hero. You have to look out for the people too. I know you know that, but, I haven't seen you attempt to save a single person."

With a loud  _click_ , Barnaby threw his faceplate back up and glared daggers at Kotetsu. "I do  _not_  need to be scolded by the useless, third-rate, one-minute hero."

 _Ouch_. That one was below the belt. He knew Barnaby had only said it to get under his skin; his uselessness was his obvious Achilles' heel. And he knew Barnaby didn't truly mean it when he talked like that. But it was still a verbal slap to the face. Kotetsu frowned. "As your  _friend_ , I am worried about your behavior, Barnaby."

Barnaby's steely gaze did not waver. "Well, I do not need the concern of a third-rate  _'friend'_ , either," he sniped. With a forceful push of his visor, the younger hero indignantly sprang away toward the action.

Maybe it was due to his exhaustion, or perhaps it was because he'd been bottling everything up over the past couple of weeks, but the harsh rejection rang in Kotetsu's ears. He'd been bracing himself for a physical blow, not an emotional one, but there was a pain in his chest all the same. Blurry eyes watched the tall red figure dash out of sight, but not a moment later, he felt something slam into him, sending him tumbling across the hard pavement.

"MISTER WILD!"

Kotetsu sat up and looked around, bewildered. Sky High landed neatly on his feet next to him and set down a terrified-looking child. To his right was a pile of smoking debris where he had been standing just seconds ago. He looked up and saw that the exterior staircase of the tall building beside him had been blown off by something. Kotetsu didn't even remembering hearing an explosion.

"Mister Wild, are you all right?" Sky High asked as he held a hand out to Kotetsu, his voice filled with concern.

Still a bit startled, Kotetsu nodded and took the younger hero's hand as he got back on his feet. "Yeah. Sorry," was all he could say. He could hardly believe he had zoned out so much that he couldn't even hear the stairs collapsing above him.

"TIGER! What the hell, man?" came Bison's booming voice from across the street, but he was cut short when he had to dodge a rocket-propelled grenade from somewhere above.

The scene before him reminded him that he needed to do something more than standing and staring. For now, he would work on evacuating civilians from the area while the more able-bodied heroes took care of the criminals.

* * *

Forty or so minutes later, the eight heroes were back at Justice Tower after just having turned in the last of the trouble-makers. As it turned out, they were just a bunch of kids looking to get on TV.  _Hero TV_ , specifically. There had been a few of these situations over the past year or so. With the growing popularity of the show came the fanatics who had nothing better to do with their lives than throw them away for a shot at making it onto national television and being pursued by the famous heroes. Kotetsu had even heard one of the teenagers squeal Sky High's name excitedly as the wind-powered NEXT grabbed him by the collar and escorted him to the police. It was a sad sight, really.

Clad in only his undersuit, Kotetsu walked into the lounge to sit down somewhere. Most of the other heroes were already in there, chatting close to the table furthest from the entrance. Kotetsu noticed the volume dropped as soon as he walked in, but he didn't pay any mind to it. The sound of the door opening had probably just interrupted them.

When he suddenly heard the sound of his partner angrily protesting, Kotetsu looked up. Before he could even assess the situation, Antonio was in his face and grabbing a fistful of the front of his black undersuit. He was forcefully dragged – along with his partner – over to the other side of the room.

"What the—!  _Antonio_ —"

With an unforgiving might, Kotetsu was slammed against a wall, the air knocked from his lungs with a wheeze. Bison had the both of them pinned against the hard concrete, his hold strong as titanium. His eyes were alight with a ferocity Kotetsu hadn't seen before as the muscled man stared hard at him. Kotetsu could almost see the room darken behind him, as if thunderous clouds were rolling in.

"I don't know what the  _fuck_  is going on with you two, but it stops RIGHT this goddamned second!" he bellowed with a power that rattled Kotetsu's bones.

Kotetsu looked away, embarrassed. So the others had noticed as well. He could not bring himself to respond.

"Let me go, Bison! It is none of your damned business," Barnaby snapped as he attempted to pry himself free.

Antonio jerked both of them, slamming them against the wall once more for good measure. "The  _hell_  it isn't, blondie!" he spat. "It became my business when whatever bullshit drama is going on between you two almost got one of you  _killed_  today. And not just your dumbass partner, but a child almost got crushed by the same falling debris."

That seemed to throw Barnaby off, as he sounded much less confident now. "But I didn't—I left to catch the—"

"You ran right past that little girl. You didn't even see her. You should have evacuated her from the scene before the stairs even got hit by the grenade!" he roared. "Had Sky High not had his quick reflexes, both she and Kotetsu would be dead. You are  _not_  innocent here."

Kotetsu swallowed hard. He had been just as irresponsible as Barnaby – moreso, really. He had no excuse.

There was a pause, but Barnaby's voice came next, much calmer than before. "You're right. If my emotions are getting in my way, perhaps I should quit."

Kotetsu thought his heart stopped. He closed his eyes and bit his lip, needing any kind of distraction to keep a hold on himself. He had previously suspected Barnaby had wanted to quit, but he had hoped he was just being paranoid. The fact that Barnaby had stuck around this long had given Kotetsu hope that he hadn't been considering it, but now his fear was confirmed. Barnaby had said it with such ease. He must have thought about it a lot already. Kotetsu felt his face get hot as he struggled to keep himself composed, but he knew his pained expression had to be giving him away.

Antonio, on the other hand, seemed taken aback by Barnaby's proposal, as his grip loosened a bit. "We don't want either of you to leave. We just want you to work together again."

But Barnaby was undeterred. "I will think about my resignation tonight. I will sleep on it, and if I feel it would be right, I will speak with my manager about it tomorrow."

The bull tank gave the blonde a long look and then sighed, releasing him. Barnaby walked away and hastily left the room.

Antonio kept his hold on Kotetsu. "What the hell did you do this time?"

Kotetsu looked up, bristled by the quick accusation. "Me? Why do you immediately assume I did something?"

His friend gave him a dull look. "Barnaby's been huffing and puffing, and you've been slinking around like a fucking dog with your tail between your legs. I  _know_  this was somehow your fault."

Kotetsu opened his mouth to protest, but he had nothing to fight back with. He  _was_  the one at fault, and dammit, he'd tried hard not be so transparent, but apparently he was a terrible actor. He sighed in defeat. When he looked up again, he caught sight of the other heroes over Antonio's shoulder. They were all watching, each of them wearing a look of deep concern, which just made Kotetsu feel worse.

Antonio lowered his voice, so that only Kotetsu could hear him. "What's going on, man? Talk to me."

The veteran lowered his eyes and shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it."

The hand on his suit pulled away, and Kotetsu could feel the rest of his weight settle back onto his feet as he was released from the wall.

"You can't just keep this to yourself. Whatever deep, dark secret it is, it's obviously tearing you up." Antonio studied his face. Worry had replaced his anger. "You look like you haven't slept in years. You look like shit." Blunt as always.

"Antonio, I just…I really can't talk about it—"

"Kotetsu, you can't keep doing  _this_ , either. You've got to work it out, and obviously you're not making that happen on your own," the auburn-haired man pointed out. "You have a bad habit of carrying all your burdens yourself. Let people help you. We've been friends since high school. Don't you trust me enough to at least talk to me?"

Kotetsu thought Antonio might have been channeling his brother just then. Muramasa would have said the same stupid thing, and of course, he was right. Kotetsu did not argue.

Antonio took that as a cue to press on. "How about we go hit up the bar tonight? We haven't been in ages anyway. It'd be good for you. We can talk over some beers."

It didn't sound appealing at all to be honest, but he didn't know what else to do anymore. Apparently everyone was already aware that there was a problem, so it's not like he could keep hiding at this point. Kotetsu nodded.

His friend smiled and slapped his shoulder. "Good." He looked down at his call band to check the time. "Let's go get changed and head out. It's late enough that it would be perfectly acceptable to start drinking without being considered alcoholics." He gave Kotetsu a playful nudge in a futile attempt to lift his spirits, and when that failed to do anything, he put a hand to Kotetsu's back and started guiding him out of the lounge.

They parted ways when they left Justice Tower to retrieve their normal clothes from their respective buildings. When Kotetsu was alone again, he began to wonder what he was going to do next. He wanted very badly to just go home, to get away from everything. He couldn't imagine telling Antonio the truth. The thought of it scared him so much, he began to conjure up fake stories. Well, he tried to, anyway, but his anxiety prevented the creative side of his brain from producing anything even remotely convincing. He supposed he would just have to deal with it when he got to the bar. For now, he just put one foot in front of the other in the direction of the Apollon building.

* * *

A/N: I apologize for how awfully written and weird the first part of this chapter is. I ran into major writer's block when I first wrote it, and even coming back to it a while later, I still can't seem to figure out how to make it better! I am open to constructive crit if anyone has any ideas for how to make it flow better, or just sound...not dumb.


	8. Chapter 8

Now that he was at the bar, Kotetsu couldn't remember why he had agreed to come, or how talking to Antonio was going to be in any way beneficial. The Hero's Bar had its usual volume of patrons; a lively room, but not packed to the point where they couldn't find a booth along the wall to claim. Just as the two older men slid into the seats, a busty girl in a poor excuse for a sexy "hero" costume came skating up to their table to take their orders.

"Two whiskies, on the rocks," Antonio requested, knowing just where to start.

Kotetsu shook his head. "No whiskey," he said quickly, before the girl turned to retrieve the order, earning him a funny look from his friend. "Anything but whiskey. And I don't want to get drunk."

Antonio raised an eyebrow, evidently surprised Kotetsu would turn down one of his go-to choices. "Fine by me. You're a pain to deal with when you're drunk anyway. Get something that'll loosen you up though. You're tense as hell."

That was true enough. Frankly, he was a nervous wreck. He still had no clue how he was going to get through this evening. He wasn't sure if he was ready yet to become the punchline for probably a month's worth jokes. Kotetsu swallowed, though his mouth was dry. "I'll have a shochu mixed with hot water, please."

"Just the whiskey for me, but put both on my tab," Antonio clarified. "And actually, go ahead and bring a Kyun Kyun Premium, too." With a smile and a nod, their waitress turned and left.

Recaps from the day's broadcast of Hero TV looped on the high-definition television screens that lined the walls. As he idly watched, Kotetsu was grateful to see that they hadn't filmed him arguing with Barnaby, although they most certainly captured his ass getting saved by Sky High. The camera zoomed in on the wind wizard as he out-flew the falling staircase and scooped up the child, simultaneously shooting a gust of wind at Tiger and sending him tumbling out of harm's way. Kotetsu winced. He still couldn't believe he had been that close to the child and never even noticed. That little girl almost died because of him. A knot of guilt twisted in his stomach.

The sound of two thick glasses clanking onto the wooden table top roused Kotetsu from his shameful recollection. The young blonde waitress skated off after having set their drinks down in front of them. Kotetsu reached out for his glass and cupped the sides of it, absorbing the warmth in his palms.

"So," Bison started, wasting no time now that they had drinks in hand. "What happened?"

Kotetsu sipped his drink, trying hard, and failing, to think of a good way to word it. Despite knowing for the past hour that this question would be coming, he still hadn't mentally prepared himself to answer it. "We…had a fight."

"Well , that's obvious enough," Antonio stated flatly. "What about? You two get in arguments all the time, but nothing has ever made you guys act like this."

The bearded man pressed his lips into a tight line as he watched the steam rise from his glass. "I fucked up."

"Mhmm. Now get to the part I don't already know."

Kotetsu sighed, then downed a few gulps of his hot drink. The drink was strong, but smooth going down. With his free hand, he started playing with his purple bracelet, rotating a bead around the elastic string. "After we left the restaurant, after that party, you know, our first night back in the First League…instead of going to a bar, we decided to buy a bottle of alcohol and take it back to Barnaby's place." He plucked at a bead, and the elastic snapped it back against his wrist. "We joked around and drank a lot. Had a lot of fun."

Antonio took a big drink from his glass, hissing as he felt the alcohol burn down his throat. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "…Okay, so what went wrong?"

Kotetsu chewed on his lip, then took another sip before continuing. "I got  _really_  drunk, okay? Like black-out drunk. And…I did stupid shit I would never do…that I don't even fucking remember…"

Antonio furrowed his brow. "So then you fought? Did you punch him or something?"

The dark-haired man shook his head.  _If only that was it_.

"All right, just an argument, then?"

Kotetsu shook his head again. "Not exactly. Not then, at least."

The bull sighed impatiently. "Then what happened? I don't want to play a guessing game. Just spit it out. What the hell did you do?" He gulped down another mouthful of his whiskey, his eyes never leaving Kotetsu.

Kotetsu's face was quickly turning a deep shade of red, only partly because of the first splash of his shochu. He searched for the right wording – was there even any way to say it without completely losing his dignity? He pulled his hat down over his eyes in an attempt to cover his flushing, working up the courage to say it. And then he forced it out, muttering low: "…We…fooled around."

Antonio blinked, stunned. "You 'fooled around'?" He leaned over to the table, staring harder. "You mean had  _sex_  with him?"

The smaller man ducked, tugging his hat down lower. "Yes."

"As in, you went all the way."

Kotetsu was quickly growing impatient. " _Yes_."

"Grand finale and all."

The bearded man audibly growled. " _ANTONIO!_ "

Antonio's face froze, incredulous. After a moment, he broke out into laugher and fished his phone out of his pocket. "Son of a  _bitch_!"

Kotetsu blinked and lifted his hat to look at him. That hadn't been  _exactly_  the kind of reaction he'd been expecting. Laughter, yes, but…

Antonio was tapping a message on his phone, which quickly threw up a red flag.

"H-HEY! Who the hell are you texting!" Kotetsu swiped for the phone, but Antonio was quick to pull it out of his reach and swatted his hand away.

"Chill, I'm just telling Nathan I owe him ten bucks." He resumed his message with an amused grin from ear to ear. " _Son of a bitch_ ," he muttered again before putting his phone back in his pocket.

Kotetsu was puzzled by the comment, and it irritated him. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Antonio knocked back the rest of his hard drink and set the square glass down on the table. "Nathan called it."

"Called  _what_?"

"He thought it looked like a 'lovers' quarrel'." Antonio chuckled again and shook his head. "He even pinned it down to you two sleeping together." He twisted the cap off the top of his beer and flipped it over between his fingers. "I thought he was joking at first, but then he bet me for it. I said there was no way you'd do that, but shit, I guess he knows his stuff."

Heat rushed to Kotetsu's face again. They had been talking about them like that? And they were even  _placing bets_  on what happened, like it was some hilarious inside joke, when he had been losing sleep over it for weeks?

Furious, Kotetsu shot to his feet and started to storm out, but a hand quickly caught him by the back of his waistcoat, preventing him from taking another step.

"Hey, not so fast—"

Kotetsu spun around and threw his hands up in the air. "If I'm only going to be ridiculed, I can do that well enough myself!"

"C'mon, Kotetsu. I told you I was going to help you through this, didn't I? And I'm going to." His amusement had already faded from his features. "It's funny because it's a crazy situation, but I'm not going to give you a hard time for it, all right? I'm sorry." A massive hand gestured toward Kotetsu's empty seat. "Sit back down, will ya? Let's try this again."

Allowing his temper to settle a moment, Kotetsu reluctantly sat back down. He gripped his tall glass and took a big sip of the warm liquid, hoping it would start to calm his nerves soon.

"So what, has the entire league been thinking we slept together this whole time?" He grit his teeth. His irritation hadn't left him entirely yet, but he was starting to settle down. "And we're not  _'lovers'_ , asshole," he added. "It was just a stupid, drunken mistake."

Antonio tossed the metal bottle cap down on the table and grabbed the beer bottle. He took a healthy sip and returned his attention to Kotetsu. "Don't worry, Nathan only mentioned it to me when no one else was around, so it's not like he started spreading a rumor. No one else's theory came anywhere close to that."

That was a small relief. Kotetsu felt his shoulders drop, relaxing a bit, though knowing everyone had been talking about them for a while didn't make him very comfortable. The faint hum of a vibrating phone made Kotetsu flick his eyes up to the source, and Antonio pulled his phone out of his pocket to read whatever message had been received. The corner of the larger man's mouth twitched as he tapped a quick response, and then the device disappeared back into the pocket of his jacket.

Antonio idly rotated the dark brown bottle on the table, the shallow puddle from the condensation spreading into a wide, messy circle. Then he looked at Kotetsu again, a question apparently coming to mind.

"If that's what happened, then there's something I don't get," he started. "Barnaby's mad at you, and you seem to be taking the blame for all of it. But it takes two to tango."

Kotetsu sighed, casting his eyes down to the table as his humiliation resurfaced. "According to him, I uh, I started it."

"You came onto him?"

He nodded. "That's what he told me."

Antonio quirked a brow. "Kotetsu, I've seen you get wasted before, but you've never done anything like that. When you're drunk enough, I've seen you stare sometimes, but you've never hit on anyone."

"I know! I don't get it either," Kotetsu exclaimed, but he knew that wasn't entirely true. "Well, I kind of do, I think. As far as I know, in any other situation, I've always been in public, or with people I'm not that close to." He eyed his drink, not really in the mood for it. "I'm...really close to Barnaby, and it was just me and him, in his apartment. I don't know what triggered it, but shit, you know, I hadn't had sex in  _years_. I guess it just kind of hit out of nowhere. And I trust him so much, I feel totally comfortable around him. I don't think I even thought twice about it being inappropriate...and just…acted on it."

His friend watched him thoughtfully. "So you got horny and made advances, but he didn't stop you."

Kotetsu gave him a look. Did he have to word it like that? "He was drunk too. Not as bad as me, but enough that his judgment was impaired."

Antonio looked unconvinced. "He was drunk enough that you could easily influence him to make him think it was a good idea, and things went from there."

"Basically, yes."

The larger man gave a grunt. His dark green eyes looked around the room for a moment as he thought. He brought the bottle back to his lips, and when he set it back down, a small smirk had replaced it. "Somehow, I think Barnaby must have wanted it."

Kotetsu laughed dryly at the notion. "I'd like to know where you're drawing that conclusion from. If you haven't noticed, Barnaby is kind of extremely pissed at me right now, because he feels like I took advantage of him."

Antonio's emerald eyes returned to him, a little alarmed. "He said that?"

Kotetsu nodded gravely as a familiar pang of guilt returned. "Yeah. So I don't see how he could have wanted it if he feels violated."

The bull tank drummed his fingers on the table top, his eyes looking off somewhere else as he thought, as though what Kotetsu said wasn't quite adding up. "I dunno. I don't think  _I_  could ever get drunk enough to want to have sex with you, even if something had gotten me all hot and bothered."

"That is not helping, Antonio."

"I'm serious! I mean, think about it. You both went  _all the way_. If Barnaby was truly, completely against it, he should have stopped you at some point. At least, I would  _think_  when you were both eh,  _without clothing_ , that it would have been a strange enough moment to sober him a little and make him re-analyze what exactly you were doing." And then an afterthought. "Plus, I can't imagine you being enough of a bully to pressure him into it when he didn't feel comfortable, and he's not a wuss anyway. He's a hero, afterall."

When he said it like that, it seemed believable enough, but Kotetsu didn't think that was right. "I don't know. I think he was just as lonely and desperate as I was…"

"Hmm." Antonio still didn't look convinced, but he let it go. "I'd really like to know what got you so horny though." He grinned, and appeared to stop himself from laughing, so as not to offend Kotetsu. "I mean, Barnaby was the only one around..."

Kotetsu rubbed the back of his neck, uncomfortable with where this was going. "I don't think that's important."

Antonio threw his hands up defensively. "I was just curious to know if you were attracted to him. Even if it had been a long time since you'd gotten laid, it still seems random for you to get a boner for him if you aren't attracted to him."

Tiger blushed a violent shade of red. "Would you knock it off!"

The other man couldn't hold back a victorious grin that read  _Gotcha!_. "So you  _are_  attracted to him." Knocking his bottle back one more time, Antonio finished off his beer, wrinkling his nose at the taste of the leftover beer head.

Kotetsu mumbled some offensive words under his breath before releasing a frustrated sigh. "He's… _good looking_ , yes. What difference does it make? It's none of your damned business anyway."

"I'm just trying to understand the situation. It seems to be more complicated than 'you got drunk and slept together' and that was that, so I'm asking questions." He looked at him curiously. "Since you admit you think he's attractive, I have to ask. Does it go beyond that?"

The old man's eyes went wide. He laughed, incredulous. "Are you asking me if I have feelings for him?"

"Yes," Bison replied, suspicious. "Do you?"

Feeling cornered all of a sudden, Kotetsu fought to articulate a response. "I—I care about him! But, I mean, he's-he's just a friend, like you are."

"You don't sound very sure," came his friend's dubious observation.

To be honest, Kotetsu  _wasn't_  sure. He had never even considered the idea before, but Barnaby was his partner. He cared for him deeply, but…love? He didn't know about that.

When Kotetsu didn't argue, Antonio went on. "All right, how about I ask you this. I'm your best friend, right? So, if this same situation happened between you and me—" he stopped himself, rethinking his question. "Well, okay, we would  _never_  sleep together, so that's a little impossible to imagine, so let's just say we had gotten into a big argument because you did something stupid, and I was so angry at you that I refused to talk to you, like what Barnaby's doing right now. Would you feel the same about the situation if it was me who was not forgiving you? And really think about it for a moment. I'm curious to know if you really do feel the same about him as you do me."

"I—" Kotetsu wanted to tell him it was a ridiculous question, that there was no point in delving into this, but unsure of the answer himself, he shut his mouth and seriously considered the idea. He closed his eyes and attempted to re-imagine the situation, or at least a similar one, with Antonio in Barnaby's place.

If Antonio was that angry with him, yes, he would be upset and try to fix things. He was practically a brother to him after all these years, so of course him being angry at him would bother him. But when Kotetsu's mind wandered back to Barnaby, his chest started to ache. He remembered how obsessed he had become over the past couple of weeks about the younger man. He could hardly think straight through his longing to make things right again. Being on sour terms with him…it was hard to put a finger on it exactly, but it just felt so  _wrong_ , which made it feel all the more urgent to fix. It hurt. For whatever reason, he couldn't stand the idea of Barnaby being genuinely upset with him. If it was Antonio, he'd feel like an ass for sure, and if he threatened to leave Hero TV because of him, Kotetsu wouldn't like it, but he would understand and respect the decision. But the thought of Barnaby leaving brought on a pain that couldn't quite be compared to anything else.

It…

It  _was_  different.

Kotetsu raked shaky fingers through his bangs as he sat there, stunned. Was it really love? He went over the last two weeks again in his head, re-examining everything from this new angle to see if it made sense. The pain, the longing, the frustration…yes, it fit – a little too well.

And when he thought about it, he realized he'd even had moments where he wanted to hold Barnaby, to touch him – to do anything to comfort him and see him smile again. It seemed so natural to crave it; he hadn't even thought twice about the implications of it.

…But if it wasn't love, why did he feel so incomplete without him by his side?

When Kotetsu looked up again, he found Antonio silent, but studying him with concern. He didn't know what to say.

Antonio leaned closer, his voice quiet. "Are you all right?"

Kotetsu wasn't even sure if he was. He didn't know what to think. How could he have not realized something like that? It felt like a rug had been pulled out from under his feet. He hadn't been in love with anyone since his beloved late wife. The reminder of her made him wince. Oh, what would she think of him, being in love with the younger man? He suddenly felt like he was betraying her. A silly, drunk mistake was one thing, but actually loving someone else…

Suddenly, the silver ring on his left hand felt like it was made of lead. Kotetsu bit his lip and lowered his head. He knew she had been gone for a long time, and he had even come to terms – with certainty – that his late wife would have wanted him to move on and do whatever made him happy. He still couldn't help feeling guilty. After all, the last person he had been intimate with before Barnaby was her. How could he not think of her?

" _So_  sorry to keep you waiting, darlings. I got here as quickly as I could," came the smooth purr of a voice that most certainly did not belong to Antonio.

Alarmed, Kotetsu looked up to find Nathan, dazzling as ever, gliding up to their table. "W-W-What the hell are you doing here?" the old man choked, embarrassed to gain more company at a time like this.

"You sure got here fast," Bison noted. "I knocked out some of the work for you-HEY!" Nathan slid into the booth next to him, forcing him to make room.

"I was just at Helios, and I do own a car," Nathan replied as he urged the larger over more.

"Bison! What the hell is he doing here!" demanded Kotetsu, an obvious note of panic in his voice.

Antonio offered an apologetic smile as he scooted over. "When you said you had slept with Barnaby, I realized I needed to summon the expert on these things." Before Kotetsu could protest again, he cut him off. "It's not like Nathan didn't already have it figured out, I told you that."

Kotetsu shut his mouth, but he was not happy to have been deceived.

The fire-powered NEXT's eyes never left Kotetsu's, a look of worry stealing his features. His plump, shimmering pink lips fell into a pout. "Oh honey, you look absolutely lovesick."

Tiger took a deep breath, and released the air slowly, calming himself. It was true that Nathan would have the most insight on this kind of situation – "a woman's intuition", as he'd call it. His advice would be his best bet on figuring out what he should do. Kotetsu would be a little less on edge if he had known he was coming, though. "I'm really confused," he admitted finally.

Antonio filled the newcomer in. "I think he just realized he's in love with Barnaby." He nudged Nathan to move back out of the booth. "Actually, trade me places. I'm going to go order another beer."

As Nathan got up to let him out of the booth, he raised his index finger as he voiced his own request. "While you're up, get me a bloody Mary. I'll let you pay me back with drinks, how about that?"

The taller man grunted in acknowledgement and walked toward the bar.

Nathan sat back down in the booth and reached out to cup one of Kotetsu's hands reassuringly. "Can you tell me what happened, love?" A surprisingly smooth thumb rubbed over the top of Kotetsu's hand. "I know you hooked up, but I don't know the circumstances it came about."

The touch was oddly comforting, and Kotetsu relaxed a bit. He often forgot how nurturing and supportive Nathan could be. "That night we left the party, we picked up some booze from a store and took it back to Barnaby's place and got drunk off our asses," he recapped, "I don't remember much of anything, but somehow we ended up in bed together."

Nathan nodded, listening, encouraging him to go on.

Kotetsu wasn't exactly sure what else to say. "…Er, and apparently I coerced him into doing it, so…"

For once, Nathan looked surprised. "Wow! Tiger," he purred with a devious admiration, as if wanting to congratulate him.

"I'm not exactly proud of it," Kotetsu reminded him. "I mean, I really screwed up."

Nathan hummed, thoughtful. "What did Handsome have to say about it in the morning?"

Kotetsu shifted uncomfortable. "Er, well, I don't remember, really. As soon as I woke up, I…freaked out. I had no idea what had happened or how it had happened, and I went home." He inwardly cringed as he remembered the horribly awkward moment. "I don't remember what he said, but Barnaby woke up when I was in the middle of getting dressed, and he seemed very angry. Not exactly surprising, I know. But I left quickly, and I was so sick and dizzy, I didn't really hear anything he said."

Before Kotetsu could move on to explain what he  _did_  remember Barnaby saying, when they finally spoke in the hallway a couple days following, the neatly manicured hand stopped stroking his knuckles. Kotetsu looked up to find that Nathan was, in fact, quite disturbed. That look could not mean anything good. Kotetsu swallowed, afraid to hear what Nathan might say next.

"You left without talking to him?" Nathan asked.

Just then, Antonio came back with the two drinks and set them down. He waited for Nathan to move over for him, but a dark, slender hand came up to signal him to wait a moment.

Not understanding why this was a point of concern, Kotetsu nodded slowly to confirm. "Like I said, I was really confused…"

Magenta eyes stared at him, unblinking, as a full understanding seemed to dawn on him. "Oh." Nathan glanced down at his fresh drink, and then back to Kotetsu. He pushed the red glass back toward Antonio. "I'm going to need another shot of vodka put in here."

Antonio threw him a look, but picked the drink back up and carried it off to take care of it.

Anxiously, Kotetsu waited for Nathan to enlighten him on why this part was such a big deal. Feeling his mouth grow dry, he reached for the glass he'd forgotten about and took a sip. The drink was lukewarm by now, but he didn't care.

Nathan took a deep breath as he gathered his thoughts. He pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment. "You  _really_  screwed up, Tiger."

Kotetsu fidgeted with his bracelet again, nervously. "I, uh, realize that, but why is it a big deal that I left? I mean I had suddenly woken up in his bed. I had no idea how I got there, and it freaked me out. I really needed to get away and sort my thoughts out." That was fair, wasn't it? Kotetsu couldn't understand where he had gone wrong.

Nathan shook his head and pointed a finger at him. "Rule number one about hooking up with someone you actually care about: You do  _not_  ditch them first thing in the morning."

Kotetsu blinked, feeling childish all of a sudden. By the look on Nathan's face, he could tell that he must have committed an even bigger crime than he understood.

Nathan leaned back into the booth, letting out a sigh that indicated there was a lot of work ahead of him. "No wonder."

Antonio returned with Nathan's upgraded drink, to which the pink-haired man thanked him and moved toward the inside of the booth to let the other in next to him. The large man took on a wary look as he seated himself, evidently sensing the atmosphere. Nathan slid the drink closer to himself and sipped through the straw.

Kotetsu wished Nathan would just spell it out for him already. He wasn't good at reading between the lines. He still couldn't understand why leaving to clear his head had been such a sin. Before he could ask another question, Nathan proceeded to explain for him.

"Do you know how that made Handsome feel?" The question was a rhetorical one, as he did not give Kotetsu time to respond. "The man he loves and just opened himself up to simply got up and left him like he was nothing more than a one-night quickie he picked up from a bar."

Kotetsu's mouth fell open in disbelief. For a good minute, he was unable to speak. Finally, he pieced together a protest. "What are you even saying! He knows I would never think of him as just a – a  _whore_! That's stupid!" Kotetsu couldn't even fathom such a concept. "And who said anything about him being in love with me? That's just—" Even at the mere thought of Barnaby having feelings for him made Kotetsu's heart flutter a bit.

The man in the flashy sequined coat knit his brow in confusion, not getting why Kotetsu was so far behind. "Why on earth do you think he's upset with you?"

Kotetsu bit his lip. He was ashamed to admit the reason, but he had no other answer. "B-Because…I stole his virginity…" he mumbled, and color shot right back to his face.

Nathan was floored. " _TIGER!_ " he exclaimed, and even he had to blush. Then he grabbed at his chest dramatically, a pained look on his face as he howled, "Oh, his poor, naïve little heart!"

Kotestu kicked one of Fire Emblem's heeled boots under the table. "Stop it! I already feel terrible about it."

But the fire-wielding hero continued to mime a sob. "Honey. Honey. Honey." He closed his eyes to regain his composure before continuing. "You did not 'steal' his virginity. He  _gave_  it to you."

Kotetsu's breath caught in his throat for a moment. "Nathan, he was drunk…he didn't realize what he was doing…and I pushed him into it—"

Nathan snorted. "Drunk or not, he wouldn't have let it happen if he didn't want it to. Alcohol makes you quit thinking, but it doesn't change you to the point where you'll do things you feel strongly against." He took another generous sip of his drink. "The alcohol just made him forget about the consequences, that's all."

Hearing Nathan echo Antonio's words like that made him even less certain about his understanding, but he tried his reasoning anyway. "But what if he had just been desperate and horny like me? He didn't have to love me to want to do it."

Nathan rolled his eyes. "Oh  _please_. Before this mess started, he gave you goo-goo eyes all the time. He obviously loves you," he stated, matter-of-factly. "Honestly, I don't know how this is even news to you, but then again, you've never really picked up on body language much, I suppose."

If what Nathan said hadn't left him speechless, he might have been offended by the jab. If it was true that Barnaby loved him – and Nathan seemed more than convinced that that was the case – that changed…everything.

He thought back to the morning after, when he tried to leave. He honestly couldn't remember what Barnaby said, but he did remember that, along with his anger, he had sounded kind of…disappointed. Gods, how did he miss that? How could he have been so blind? Leaving him like that without a word, Nathan was right – he must have felt like he'd been discarded, only used to satisfy a whim.

Kotetsu's eyes welled up as he began to realize just what he had done. He had hurt Barnaby far worse than he had imagined. He was such an idiot. His partner had trusted him enough to expose himself to him like that. The one and only person he trusted. And that one person just walked out on him because he couldn't bear to face him for his own selfish reasons. It was little wonder why Barnaby had withdrawn from everyone. He had no one left to trust.

"What did I do…?"

Kotetsu covered his eyes with a hand as tears trickled down his face. Just when he'd thought things were as bad as they could get, the damage had doubled. He thought he had been doing everything right by giving Barnaby distance, and he had tried to apologize several times. But now more than ever, he realized he had no clue what he was doing. He'd done so many things wrong, and it was too late to undo any of it now. Kotetsu let his head drop down to the inside of his elbow, and he cradled his head as his shoulder shook with quiet sobs.

A cautious hand reached out to touch his shoulder. "Kotetsu sweetie, calm down," came Nathan's voice softly.

It was weird to hear him use his real name, but Kotetsu didn't look up. The delicate fingers gently squeezed, and the other man waited patiently for Kotetsu's breathing to even out. When Kotetsu had composed himself enough to lift his head, he wiped at his eyes with his wrist. "Sorry, I'm just really tired." He sniffed and took a big breath. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do now."

Nathan stirred his drink with his straw. "Well, as we all know, Barnaby's going to march right into Apollon tomorrow and turn in his resignation." He took a sip of his drink, unfazed by its potency. "Unless, of course, we fix this."

Kotetsu looked at him desperately. "Is that even possible at this point?"

"Well," he considered, "now that we know everything that went wrong, we can start to think about a solution." He gave Kotetsu a sideways glance. "That  _is_  everything, right? Dear lord, I hope there isn't more to the train wreck than that." When Kotetsu shook his head, he continued. "Of course, you'll have to talk to him tomorrow, before he meets with your boss."

That much was a given. "But what am I supposed to say?" He swallowed hard. What  _could_  he say? He knew it was already too late to salvage anything. He was screwed. "I don't want to lose him," he said, his voice hoarse. "He's not going to listen to me talk. He's going to go straight to Lloyds and he'll never look back." Kotetsu bit his lip as he felt it begin to tremble again.

"Oh Tiger, don't be so  _dramatic_. It's not over yet," Nathan assured him.

Antonio, who had been quiet the whole time, had to laugh. "That's real rich, coming from you," he remarked, which earned him a sharp sequined elbow to the ribs.

"Don't give up before you even try. Let's think about it," the pink-haired man went on. "First, you need to clarify any and all misunderstandings. Make sure he understands that you didn't mean to make him feel like you were using him. If nothing else, that part should be a comfort to him, I should think."

Kotetsu nodded. He  _definitely_  wanted to clear that up.

Nathan thought for a moment. "And since we already know he loves you, I think you should tell him you have feelings for him too. He should like to hear that."

As much as he wanted it to work that well, Kotetsu didn't think it would happen. "I doubt he still has feelings for me after all that. I mean, he  _is_  ready to end our partnership for good…"

Nathan shrugged. "The fact that he hasn't gotten over the whole ordeal tells me he still cares," he pointed out. "But even if he doesn't return the feelings anymore, he would still feel better knowing you loved him like that, and I think you owe him at least that much, no?"

Kotetsu couldn't argue with that. If he could at least set the record straight, and possibly even earn his forgiveness, that would be good enough. He didn't need to be loved back. Hell, he didn't deserve it after everything he'd done anyway. The important part was just getting back on good terms with him, and hopefully rebuilding their friendship from there.

With a renewed determination, Kotetsu sat up a little straighter. He felt a lot better now that he had a firmer understanding of everything he did wrong. He felt awful about it of course, but finally he felt like he was headed down the right path. There was a small, ironic comfort in knowing that he had nothing left to lose. His talk with Barnaby tomorrow could only help, and now that he was armed with the full story, he felt like he might have a chance to finally make things right. At least, he was certainly going to try his hardest to.

A small, sheepish smile formed on Kotetsu's lips as he looked at both men on the other side of the table. "Thank you both for walking me through this. It's an embarrassing situation, but now that I understand what's going on, I feel a bit better about it."

Both Antonio and Nathan returned the smile. "We want everything to work out for you just as much as you do. We hate seeing you so down," Nathan said, and Antonio nodded.

Kotetsu nodded and stood up. "I guess I'd better plan on heading into work early then. Barnaby is usually an early-riser." He smiled at them again and waved a hand at Antonio. "Thanks for the drink. I'll see you tomorrow."

As Kotetsu walked away, he heard Nathan's cheery voice call after him. "Good luck, honey!"


	9. -final-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I don't know the layout of the Apollon building at all, so I kind of made it up. I hope it isn't confusing. If anyone happens to know better, please feel free to enlighten me.

As it turned out, despite hopping out of bed earlier than usual, Kotetsu still hadn't beaten Barnaby to Apollon Media that morning. When he stepped out of the elevator and rounded the corner to the hallway that lead to Mr. Lloyd's office, he spotted Barnaby seated on one of the cushioned benches just outside the heavy walnut door.

Instinctively, Kotetsu jumped and hid back behind the corner before Barnaby could see him. It appeared that Mr. Lloyds was in his morning meeting as usual, as Kotetsu had expected. Any other day, neither of them would bother to stop by this early since they knew their manager would be unavailable (not to mention, "sleeping in" was another good reason not to come by). By getting there before the meeting was over, Kotetsu would eliminate Barnaby's window of opportunity to get in and speak with their boss...or so he thought. Apparently Barnaby had had a similar idea.

Kotetsu looked down at his watch. Seven thirty. He had a good thirty or so minutes yet before Mr. Lloyds would be freed up. Now would be his chance to pull Barnaby aside and straighten everything out.

…If only he wasn't getting cold feet.

He paced around the side corridor, nervously chewing on one of his nail stubs. After a fitful night's rest (or lack thereof), Kotetsu had lost a lot of his courage from the evening before, and now that Barnaby had arrived well ahead of when Kotetsu had expected, he was nothing but terrified. This was it. If he couldn't resolve their problem today –  _now_  – Barnaby would be out of his life. Even though he knew what he was supposed to say, suddenly he did not feel very confident about it.

Upon hearing a cheery  _ding_  behind him, Kotetsu yelped and spun around to see the elevator doors at the end of the hall sliding open. Antonio, of all people, who had changed into his workout clothes, stepped into the hallway and waved a hand when he saw him.

Caught in the act of stalling, Kotetsu scrambled to try and act normal. "Wha-What are you doing here?" He adjusted his watch on his wrist and smoothed out his vest. So many things felt unkempt all of a sudden.

The muscled man eyed him suspiciously. "I just came to see if you had talked to him already. I knew you said you'd be here early. Is he not here yet?"

Kotetsu rubbed the back of his neck. "Uhhhh…"

Antonio scowled at him and went to take a look around the corner. Upon spotting Barnaby, he turned back to Kotetsu, furious. "Damn it, Kotetsu! What the hell are you doing?" he hissed, keeping his voice low. "Any minute now, he's going to walk in there and end it. Frankly, I don't know why he isn't in there already."

Kotetsu averted his eyes. "Uh-I've got time still – Lloyds is in his morning meeting for another thirty minutes yet, so that's why Barnaby's waiting," he explained, pretending he had a good excuse to be taking his time.

However, Antonio was not going to have it.

Giving Kotetsu a sense of déjà vu, the burly man picked him up by his green shirt and mercilessly pulled him along as he marched them around the corner. "I'm not going to let you fuck this up again," Antonio snarled.

The sound of the giant's vexation garnered attention from Barnaby, as the younger man looked up to see what the commotion was. Immediately recognizing the sight of the angry bull dragging a certain tiger by his tail and heading right for him, Barnaby stood up to get away, but Antonio cornered him and grabbed a tight hold of his fancy leather coat.

"I am  _not_  in the mood for this," Barnaby growled as he clawed at the fist on his jacket. "Let go of me, or I  _will_  use my power."

They did not need to go far, however, as Kotetsu found out. Antonio had settled with dragging them to the nearest unoccupied room, which, in this case, happened to be the men's restroom. Releasing his hold on Kotetsu for a moment, he pulled open the door and threw the two of them inside.

Before either of them could stop the door from closing, the heavy metal barrier slammed shut as what Kotetsu could only assume was the sound of Antonio's weight settling against it, holding it closed on them. The individual-sized facility's automatic lights flicked on upon their entrance, illuminating them with a sickly pale light.

Frazzled, Kotetsu banged a fist against the door. "HEY! Let us out of here. This is not a good place."

"I'm not opening this door until you get it over with."

Barnaby looked at Kotetsu, seething, with obvious panic written all over him. "What the hell did you tell him!"

Kotetsu looked over his shoulder at him, though he couldn't easily look him in the eye, knowing the other wasn't going to like the answer. "…Everything."

His partner's eyes grew wide, horrified. "You  _told_  him about it? What, does everyone know now what happened?"

Kotetsu sighed, his adrenaline rush beginning to dissipate, only to be replaced by anxiety. This was not off to a good start. "No, I only talked to him about it. Er – well, Nathan too, but he already figured it out without anyone telling him."

A bright blush of humiliation spread across Barnaby's cheeks, but before he could lash out at him, Kotetsu held up a hand defensively. "They aren't going to tell anyone," he assured him. "And everyone knew  _something_  was wrong, so it's not like I could keep hiding it."

"That was  _no one's_  business to know. You could have just told them we had a fight and left it at that." Barnaby ran his fingers through his hair with great annoyance. "I can't believe you told them."

"It was a good thing I talked to them, trust me," Kotetsu insisted, trying to sound positive. "I didn't want to tell anyone what happened either, but I had a hard time understanding the situation since I don't remember much, and I kept upsetting you when I tried to talk to you about it."

Barnaby's tightening lips told Kotetsu he couldn't argue with that.

Kotetsu continued. "Their outside perspectives were what I really needed to help me understand the situation and sort everything out." His expression fell into an earnest one. "And I really need to talk to you about it." He looked around the room and wrinkled his nose in disgust. "I don't want to talk to you about something this important in a fucking bathroom, though."

Barnaby did not seem agreeable to having yet another conversation about this topic, but by his silence, Kotetsu guessed that he at least agreed that he did not want to stay locked up in the bathroom any longer than he did.

Kotetsu turned back around and rapped his knuckles against the heavy door. "Hey, Bison, let us out. I don't want to talk to him in here."

The door didn't budge. "I told you, I'm not opening this door until you get it over with," he repeated. "If you care so much about the location, you should have started talking to him before I had to force you into doing something."

"I'll  _talk_  to him," Kotetsu promised, "I just don't want to talk to him about this kind of thing in a stinky men's bathroom, you know?"

There was a pause, which Kotetsu assumed meant Antonio might be considering his plea. A sigh. "How do I know you're not going to find a way to put it off again?"

"I promise. You can follow us all the way to…wherever would be a good place." He thought a moment. "How about the lounge? No one else is there yet, right? We could talk in there, and you can make sure neither of us leaves."

Defiantly, Barnaby crossed his arms. "I'm not going with you."

The older man turned to look at him, giving him a pleading look. " _Please_ , Barnaby. I want to fix this."

The younger man's emerald eyes glared back at him. " 'Fix this'? Every time we've talked about this, it's only made things  _worse_. I told you I was done."

Kotetsu sighed and gestured toward the door. "Considering you're about to charge into Lloyds's office and dismiss yourself from the league altogether, I think it's safe to say this will be the last time we'll talk about it, whether it resolves anything or not." This was his one shot. If Barnaby wouldn't give him audience, it would be over. His voice softened, only loud enough for his partner to hear. "Bunny, please give me this chance." The nickname had escaped his lips before he could stop it, but he couldn't help it. His partner meant too much to him to call him by any other name, and right now, he was desperate.

Barnaby turned his head away, unable to look at him. Kotetsu hoped that was a sign that he was backing down, and to his relief, his assumption was confirmed. "…Fine," he muttered.

Kotetsu beamed involuntarily, and suddenly he felt a little of his courage return. "Thank you." He turned back to the door. "Bison, he agreed to come with me. Will you let us out?"

When he heard the weight slide away from the door, Kotetsu knew he could push it open. He and Barnaby stepped out, and they were met with an intimidating look from the taller man.

"Thanks." Kotetsu offered an appreciative smile and motioned toward the end of the hallway as he headed back in the direction of the elevator. "Just follow us. We'll go directly there."

Antonio gave a grunt and trailed close behind, with Barnaby reluctantly following.

* * *

As he had predicted, no one was in the lounge yet, or the training room for that matter, so they would have some privacy for a while. The pair filed inside and Antonio waited on the other side of the doors, staying close by as they slid shut. Kotetsu knew his friend would remain there until they were done, but he had no intention of leaving.

When the doors were closed, Kotetsu let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and turned around to look at Barnaby. The younger man had opted to prop himself up against a wall, arms folded across his chest as he waited for Kotetsu to say something. Judging by his silence, it seemed the walk from Apollon had cooled Barnaby's quickly-escalating temper, which would hopefully mean he would be easier to talk to now. And Kotetsu was grateful for that.

He pulled his hat off his head and wringed it as he tried to think of the best way to begin. Starting was the hardest part. Once he started speaking, he'd get the ball rolling, but he just had to get over that first hurdle. His choice of wording was important though, because if he did not say the right things, that would be it. He should apologize first, right? And then he would explain every—

"Let's get this over with," came Barnaby's irritated, though surprisingly quiet reminder.

"A-Ah right." Kotetsu's mind went back to the first thing Nathan advised him to address. It was just as good a place to start as any, he figured. "Okay." He took a breath. "Let me start by saying that I deeply regret that things happened the way that they did, and that I made a lot of really bad decisions."

Barnaby's irritation did not ease up by that statement, and Kotetsu did not expect it to.

"But it made me think. A lot. This whole situation, I mean. About what I did. Why I did it. What this has done to you. To  _us_." Kotetsu attempted to swallow the lump in his throat. If he was already having a hard time getting the words out, he didn't know how he was going to make it all the way through. But he couldn't let that stop him now. "Talking with Antonio and Nathan, I realized how much I fucked up. I mean…I  _really_ , really fucked up. As you know."

Barnaby's eyes were hard, but he was listening.

"First things first. I realize now that when I left that morning, I was essentially ditching you."

At that, Barnaby flinched and flicked his eyes away from Kotetsu. So that was something he had been waiting to hear. That seemed to be the right reaction, for once.

Kotetsu scratched the back of his neck nervously. "And I want you to know that I did not mean to make you feel like I had just used you for my own needs."

Barnaby bit his lip as he continued to look away from him. Apparently he was hitting the nail right on the head. Good.

Seeing signs that he was headed in the right direction, Kotetsu felt a little stronger now. "I promise you, I could not have done what I did that night with just anyone. My wife has been gone for years, but I have never slept with anyone else since. I uh, I've had… _frustrating_  days, but I was never tempted to seek anyone out. I just don't operate that way."

This seemed to get Barnaby's attention, as he was looking at him again, but this time, he appeared to have something to say.

"…I figured as much."

Kotetsu blinked. "Eh? What do you mean?" That wasn't a response he had been expecting.

"When you lectured me about how I shouldn't wait to date, you told me about how you've never found someone else, because you were too busy and spent a lot of time grieving," Barnaby recollected, but this was all news to Kotetsu. "But you admitted that you get lonely sometimes too."

Kotetsu didn't know what to say to that. He didn't remember saying any of it, though they did sound like things he had thought. "I said all that?"

Barnaby nodded, a hint of annoyance returning.

"You have a good memory," Kotetsu observed admirably, even if it was obvious.

The younger man smiled wryly. "I don't take my memories for granted."

Kotetsu felt a pang of guilt. Now that no one was around to manipulate the poor man's memories, it should be no surprise that he would cherish every new one, knowing they were real and they were his. For a moment, Kotetsu wondered, if that meant Barnaby must treasure the memory of their night together too, despite everything, but when he felt his cheeks start to warm, he forced himself to continue before he got too distracted.

"Well, anyway, what happened that night was a combination of things that hadn't happened before." He held up a finger for each item. "I drank much more than I usually do; I wanted to get physical; we were in a private place; and most importantly, I was with someone I am very, very close to," he went on. "It happened because I trust you like I do."

A range of emotions crossed Barnaby's face then, and Kotetsu could not tell which one he was currently feeling. He looked a little relieved, and yet still pained. The blonde lowered his head.

"Do you have any idea what it felt like when you left me that morning?" Barnaby asked softly. "Aside from you, everyone, every single person, I had ever given my trust to, has either ended up dead, or used me. My mother, my father, Aunt Samantha – dead. And Maverick, the bastard I trusted my entire life, used me like a tool, and then threw me by the wayside when there was nothing more he could do with me, as if he hadn't spent the last almost twenty years raising me like family." Barnaby fought to get the words out through his tightening throat, but he braved to look at Kotetsu anyway. "You were the one person through all that, the one I knew I could trust, and then…you left. You slept with me, and then you left, and I realized you had just used me too." He brought a hand up to cover his eyes, the tears he had been fighting so hard to hold back now streaking down his face. "It hurt so much."

Kotetsu felt his own eyes getting wet as his lip quivered. It pained him hearing his partner say those things, even though he knew, from Nathan's insight, that that's exactly how Barnaby would feel. But to hear the words that Barnaby must have been bottling up inside him this whole time…not even Nathan's advising could have prepared him for the sadness and guilt he felt right now. Instinctively, he took a step forward, a hand outreached to cup his partner's face, but when he realized what he was about to do, he stopped, and retracted his hand. He still didn't know if Barnaby would accept that kind of gesture, so he refrained. Instead, he just stood closer to him.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice cracking. "I know now that it was the wrong thing to do, but at the time, all I could think about was how confused I was and how sick I felt. I couldn't remember anything. I had just woken up in your bed, naked next to you. I had no idea what happened, and it scared me." He twisted his hat in his hands again, remembering the sick feeling. "I just had to get away from it and clear my head. I didn't realize what messages I would be sending you by doing that. I just went. Had I realized what I was doing, I wouldn't have left you, because I would never want you to feel like that."

Barnaby visibly softened as he wiped at his eyes, which relieved Kotetsu. Not just because he had finally seemed to say something right, but it felt good to be clearing up the misunderstanding. There was a lot of ground yet to cover, but Kotetsu was starting to feel better about it.

"But again, I wouldn't have done what I did with you if you were truly nothing more than, you know,  _an outlet for my urges_ , as backwards as that kinda sounds," he continued. "Drunk or not, I just can't go that far with someone if I don't completely trust them, and that's why it hadn't happened until a couple of weeks ago. I know that wasn't something you could have known then, but I'm telling you now."

Barnaby nodded quietly, looking a tad more at ease, which made Kotetsu relax a bit as well. Kotetsu moved next to him along the wall, but preferred to plant himself on the floor, next to his partner's red boots. He leaned back and let his legs straighten out in front of him.  _May as well sit_ , he figured, as he still had a lot to say.

Kotetsu let his eyes wander around the brightly-lit room. The décor hadn't changed much over the years, with more table space and seating than would ever be used at one time. The walls were still plastered with all the different posters of their faces as well as the logos of the parent companies that owned each of them. A faint buzz from the lights above could be heard, only because there was no other sound in the room while the two men thought quietly. Not everything had been fixed yet, but Barnaby was still there in that room with him, listening, and that in itself was a comfort.

Kotetsu let out a contented sigh. "It feels nice talking to you without us just fighting." It gave him hope. Perhaps he could salvage this after all. "I don't like that things happened this way, but at the same time, it put things into motion that might not have happened otherwise. Or at least, not for a while. If ever."

A sound to his right indicated Barnaby was lowering himself to sit on the floor as well. "Like what?" The blonde sniffed and leaned against the wall, then bent his knees enough to rest his elbows on them. He was still a couple of feet away, but it was reassuring that Barnaby was making himself comfortable too, rather than remaining in a position that would be easy for him to leave quickly.

"Well…" Kotetsu pulled his beaded bracelet off, and absent-mindedly began to play with it. "The distance…It made me realize how much I…how important you are to me." Kotetsu swallowed. For some reason, this was significantly harder to say than everything else thus far. "Not being able to talk to you, or joke with you about anything. Only having awkward silences between us when we weren't pretending for everyone else…" His voice fell quiet again. "Gods Bunny, when you walked away in that hallway, it felt like I'd been torn in half." Kotetsu bit his lip at the memory. "I'm sure I didn't make you feel any better when I left...but…I just…You had become such a big part of my life, I didn't know what to do." He smoothed out the fabric on his thigh, feeling anxious. "It felt so wrong, but I felt helpless because I didn't know how to fix it. I'd already screwed up enough. I didn't want to keep making things worse, so I backed off. But damn if it wasn't excruciating having to sit and watch you continue to be upset because of me."

Barnaby did not say anything, but listened. Kotetsu could not read his body language, but the silence made him realize he was merely rambling, and he attempted to get himself back on track.

"What I'm trying to say is, that time apart made me realize how strongly I care about you. But I didn't even fully figure it out until I talked to Antonio last night, which is why it was a good thing I did." Kotetsu had to smile a little. It was a funny thing, really. "He just asked me one silly question that put everything into perspective."

No response came, but Barnaby's eyes on him silently urged him to tell him.

"He asked me if I would feel the same way if it was  _him_  who was mad at me, rather than you." Kotetsu chuckled. "And, I mean, I would be upset about that too. I've known him since high school, but…even though he's like family to me, it was a different kind of pain." Kotetsu tried to find the right words for it, but came up short. "It's hard to describe, but the main difference is that I love him like a brother, but…I don't love you like that…"

Barnaby was now watching him intently, which made Kotetsu a little nervous again, but honestly, he did not fear rejection. Even if Barnaby did not return the feelings anymore, he had loved him at some point, and he was already happy that he was starting to make amends. So he finished, no matter what Barnaby would think of him. "I've fallen in love with you."

Barnaby's mouth fell open, but nothing came out. He seemed utterly shocked to hear that, and Kotetsu couldn't tell if it was a good response or a bad one, but before Barnaby could respond, he quickly added, "It's okay if you don't feel the same way. I don't expect it or deserve it…but I still want you to know how much you really do mean to me."

Barnaby still did not say anything, but his complexion reddened a little. He looked lost, as if words had escaped him. He ran his fingers through his thick bangs, searching for what he wanted to say.

"You only realized that yesterday?" he asked finally, to which Kotetsu nodded. "Then, if you weren't in love with me before, were you not still using me?"

Kotetsu winced. Even though that wasn't how he felt  _at all_ , he wasn't sure how to defend himself. It was an understandable interpretation. "I didn't realize it at the time, no, but I think I've felt this way for a long time." That was the truth. "I hadn't put a name to it, but I cared for you all the same." He thought a moment, trying to figure out how it must have worked. "I've always loved you in some way, but I'd never considered the feelings to be romantic until last night. I mean, in the back of my mind, I've always kind of thought of you as 'off-limits' I guess, or maybe I just always thought of  _myself_  as 'off-limits', as I never pictured myself getting involved with someone again. Either way, it never crossed my mind to think of it that way." He slipped his bracelet back on. "But now that I've been made to think about it, I know that's what it is. It feels right."

A silence hung between them. A bit embarrassing though it was to admit his feelings, Kotetsu felt a weight lift off his shoulders. He studied the younger man's face, searching for some kind of indication of what he was thinking, but again, he looked lost.

"I don't know what to think, Kotetsu," he said after a minute. "I was so mad at myself for letting you persuade me into sleeping with you, but—" He looked away, ashamed. "I'd wanted to hear you say that for so long," he admitted quietly. "How could I say no, when I had wanted that for – I don't even know, a year maybe? – and you were right there begging me for it?" He brought a knee into him and hugged it. "I hated that I let it happen. Even in my drunken state, a part of me just  _knew_  you would regret it, but you kept telling me how much you wanted it, and I was too drunk to think too hard about it and just…trusted you on it." His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. "I didn't want you to regret it. Even if you didn't have feelings for me, I would have been happy if you had just stayed and laughed it off afterward, or something." He rested his chin on his knee as he looked across the room, dismayed. "But you did regret it."

Kotetsu frowned. "I still do regret it. I mean, not in the way that I'm  _grossed out_  by doing something like that with you or anything. It's the opposite, actually," he explained with a laugh, which earned him a puzzled look from the other man. "At first, I regretted it because I thought I had done a horrible thing to you. I mean, obviously I did make a big mistake, but my understanding was completely wrong." Kotetsu blew out a puff of air as he thought about how much the situation had tangled. "And in a weird, roundabout kind of way, in the end, I'm a little glad it happened since it helped me realize how I actually feel about you." He had to smile a little at that. "But I regret that it resulted in such a mess. I regret that I reacted the way I did, and ended up hurting you so much." He sighed, then added an afterthought. "Not to mention, I was too drunk to remember most of it. I doubt I was any good," he joked, though he knew it was probably true. "You deserve so much better than that, Bunny. Especially for your first time, Gods," he lamented. "Your virginity should not have been lost to a drunk old man.  _That_  is what I regret about the situation, now that I understand how you felt about it."

Barnaby looked down at the floor as he plucked at the thick grey fabric on his knee and shrugged. "I didn't care. It was the happiest night I'd had in a long time, so to me, it was wonderful."

Hearing that made Kotetsu a little sad. He was flattered, he supposed, but he could hardly believe such a sloppy moment had been one of Barnaby's best. Moreover, he could hardly believe Barnaby had felt that way about this clumsy, reckless, alcohol-intolerant old fool for so long. "Well,  _I_  care, because I still think you deserve something better than that."

Another silence fell between them, leaving one question unanswered still. Kotetsu turned his hat over in his hands, a little afraid to ask, but he needed to know where Barnaby stood for sure. "So…I suppose you don't still…I mean, it's okay if you don't, but, just to be sure…"

Vague though his inquiry had been, Barnaby seemed to understand what he was asking. He twisted a lock of hair on the top of his head as he thought for a moment.

"I don't know, Kotetsu…I was getting so annoyed that, even though I was angry, and hurt, I still couldn't get over you," he admitted. "I tried to move on and stop caring, but I still had feelings for you. It pissed me off. I couldn't just drop it." He let the blonde lock fall from his fingers as he set his hand down beside him. Even though he wasn't looking directly at Kotetsu, the older man could tell his eyes were sad. "But Kotetsu, having my trust broken like that really did a number on me. Even if it was just a lot of misunderstandings, it's hard to forget how much it hurt. You know how hard it is for me to trust people, and for something like that to happen…"

Kotetsu nodded. He understood, and didn't blame him one bit. But he wasn't about to give up on gaining his trust back; not when he'd made it this far. "Well, regardless of whether or not you feel that way about me anymore, I want to do anything I can to earn your trust back." He looked up at Barnaby with a sincere determination. "Would you give me that chance?"

Barnaby gave him a long, thoughtful look, but eventually nodded. And then finally, his lips pulled into a small smile.

Kotetsu's heart leapt and relief washed over him in a tidal wave. Without a thought, he reached his hand out and clasped it over Barnaby's, giving it a generous squeeze. "Thank you, Bunny." He couldn't hold back a big grin from taking over his lips. At last, it was over, and Kotetsu could look ahead instead of behind him. He had no doubt he could earn Barnaby's trust back, and he was thrilled to be given the opportunity.

Barnaby glanced down at the tanned hand on top of his own, and smiled sheepishly before pulling his hand away. He pulled himself back onto his feet and dusted off his pants. He let out a heavy sigh and looked down at his call band. "I need to think for a little while."

Frowning, Kotetsu stood back up as well, his euphoria waning and quickly being replaced by uncertainty. "Are you still thinking about quitting?" He hoped that wasn't the case, after all that.

Barnaby shook his head. "No, I'm not going to quit, but I do need to sort out some of my own thoughts," he replied, which made Kotetsu relax again.

"Right. I did kind of give you a lot to process," the veteran noted, and offered a smile. "Well, I'm glad you're staying. I don't think I can even begin to describe how relieved I am."

Barnaby smiled softly and nodded.

Kotetsu could tell he looked relieved as well, though he appeared to have a lot on his mind, unsurprisingly. Perhaps it would be best if Barnaby took the day off to think things through, Kotetsu thought. The older man put his hat back on his head and tugged it down enough to secure it in place. "I can tell Lloyds you need to take a personal day, if you want."

The blonde thought for a moment, and then nodded. "That might be good."

Kotetsu's eyes lit up when an idea struck. "You can trust me to handle things without you for a day, yeah? Consider this my first trial!"

Barnaby rolled his eyes, but had to laugh a little. "All right. I'm counting on you, then."

Kotetsu mimicked an over-exaggerated solute. "Yessir!"

He turned toward the entrance and started heading for it, and Barnaby was close behind. He was still a little disbelieving that he'd managed to clear everything up, but he was grateful for it. Another smile stole his lips when the doors slid open.

Antonio looked up from his cell phone and cracked a smile, glad to see the two of them were walking out of the room with contented expressions. As Barnaby continued on ahead, Kotetsu stopped next to Antonio and gave him a thumbs-up.

The taller man waited until Barnaby was out of ear shot before whispering to Kotetsu, "So I take it everything's okay now?"

Kotetsu heaved a big sigh and nodded enthusiastically. "We're good. He's not going to quit."

Antonio smiled and patted his friend's shoulder, a little harder than he probably meant to. "Good. That was a mess." He laughed. "Ignoring it wouldn't have fixed anything, so I'm glad that did the trick."

"Yeah, me too," Kotetsu agreed. "God I hope nothing like that happens ever again though." The mere thought of going through all that once more made him want to dig himself a hole and hibernate for years.

The bull nodded and looked back in the direction of the elevators when he heard the doors of Barnaby's elevator close. "What now? Do you want to go work out with me since we're both already here?"

As pumped and confident as Kotetsu was now, getting a good workout in sounded pretty appealing. "Sure." He glanced down at his watch and found that it was well past eight o'clock. "I need to stop by my boss's office first though. I'm going to let him know Barnaby needs to take a day to rest. I won't be long."

"All right, I'll see you in a bit, then," Antonio replied and waved a hand before heading into the lounge.

Kotetsu might have had a bit of a skip in his stride on his way back to Apollon.

* * *

The rest of the day could not have gone any better. Getting back on good terms with Barnaby had made for a wonderful start, and things only got better when he not only single-handedly rescued a group of people, but also assisted Dragon Kid and Fire Emblem with the day's big arrest. What a world of difference confidence could make! Thanks to his contagious enthusiasm, the other heroes seemed to breathe much easier too, and as a result, there had been a lot of good teamwork. It had been one of the most fulfilling missions Kotetsu had had in a long time, and it could only have been made more enjoyable with one other person out there with him.

A day this good should be ended before anything could ruin it, which is exactly why Kotetsu was back at his urban apartment with takeout from his favorite curry place, remote in hand as he clicked on his TV. Winding down with some delicious curry while watching a good action flick on-demand sounded like the perfect way to spend the rest of the evening.

Just as Kotetsu opened his takeout box and drove his plastic spoon into the savory sauce, his doorbell rang. The unexpected chime made him quickly straighten his posture as he tried to figure out who would be at his doorstep.  _Maybe it's a kid selling candy bars?_ He set his spoon down and walked to the front of the unit. He peered through the door's peep hole and, to his surprise, saw not a small child, but a much taller, familiar figure he recognized only by the silhouette of the visitor's hair, backlit by the street's dim yellow lights.

Kotetsu excitedly unbolted the lock and opened the door. "Bunny!" he announced, beaming. He stepped aside to allow Barnaby in.

After the younger man entered, Kotetsu closed the door and looked Barnaby up and down. He wasn't entirely sure why, but he could tell that Barnaby looked much better than he had that morning. Perhaps it was just due to having a day to think and rest. "You feeling better?"

Barnaby nodded and pulled his gloves off. "Yes," he breathed, but said nothing more. He shoved the gloves into one of his jacket's pockets and, with nothing else to mess with, began fiddling with the pointed black ring on his index finger. His bright green eyes had picked a spot on the floor to fix themselves, as though he was searching for what he wanted to say.

The blonde's sudden display of nerves made Kotetsu's smile fall. It seemed that Barnaby had something important to say – perhaps something he was  _afraid_  to say. Why else had he come over to his apartment unannounced? The uncertainty made Kotetsu's stomach twist a bit as he tried to read Barnaby's face. He sure hoped nothing was wrong. "Is everything okay?" he asked, his brow knitting with concern.

"Yeah, I just, um..." Barnaby began, but interrupted himself with a sigh. Still, his fingers anxiously rotated that hard, black ring around his finger.

Not sure of what else to do, Kotetsu held an arm out to invite the younger man into the rest of the apartment to have a seat somewhere, but before he could say anything, Barnaby sighed again, tossed his arms up in defeat, and took a step forward to wrap his arms around Kotetsu.

For a moment, Kotetsu froze in place. He hadn't seen that coming, and wasn't sure how to interpret it. Not that they'd never hugged before, but it was something they did not do often. Whatever the reason though, Kotetsu didn't care. He brought his arms around his partner's body and returned the tight embrace. He may not know what prompted the gesture, but Kotetsu could feel the other's message in the warmth of his hold:  _I'm sorry. I missed you. I'm glad it's over. Thank you for never leaving._

They stood like that for a while, silently soaking in the comfort of one another's embrace. Kotetsu smiled, releasing a quiet, contented sigh through his nose. Barnaby did not pull back, and Kotetsu wasn't going to complain. In fact, he felt so at ease, he rested his chin on Barnaby's shoulder and let his eyes fall closed.

And then a soft kiss was pressed against the base of his ear.

At that, Kotetsu's eyes flicked open and color splashed his face. A kiss? Did Barnaby just give him a kiss? His smile grew into a wide, goofy grin, and his heart swelled. Even  _he_  knew that could only be interpreted in one way.

He tightened his hold on Barnaby twice over and lifted the slightly taller man just enough to pull him off of his feet and clumsily spun the both of them around in a circle as he laughed, nearly toppling over in the process. He wasn't sure what he had done to deserve it, but somehow his day had just been made  _perfect_.

When he set Barnaby down, he found the other's face flushed, but there was also a coy smile even he couldn't hide. Kotetsu had to snicker again as he looked Barnaby over, and then pulled him into another tight hug. Now that he had him, it was hard to let him go, but after a minute, he finally pulled back.

"Well I uh, I didn't expect that!" Kotetsu admitted with a laugh. "I guess that means you made up your mind, huh?"

Barnaby smiled sheepishly nodded. "Yeah, well, a lot has happened, but I realized it didn't change the fact that I still have feelings for you." He ruffled the back of his hair. He was so cute when he didn't know what to do with himself – a rare instance for the usually overly-confident man. "I mean, I still harbored feelings for you even when I thought you had used me, so it wouldn't make much sense for me to not still feel that way about you now that I know better."

Kotetsu grinned again. "Well, I'm certainly not complaining! I just didn't expect you to forgive me so quickly. I thought I was going to have to rebuild everything from the ground up."

Barnaby shook his head. "I was a little overwhelmed by everything you told me this morning, but after I took a step back and thought for a while, it was a lot easier to accept." His expression grew more serious. "I mean, it will still take me a while to forget about it, but I recognize that it's illogical. I understand you didn't mean for me to interpret your actions that way, and I know alcohol makes people lose control, and I  _know_  that you didn't mean anything by what you did. I get all of that, but after being manipulated for so long…" He fought to find the words for it. "It's hard to explain, but it's a paranoia that isn't easy to look past. But I think you know that by now."

Kotetsu nodded soberly. He cupped the side of Barnaby's face and laced his fingers through some of the curls. "I understand completely. In fact, that's exactly why I didn't think you would forgive me anytime soon."

The younger man leaned into the touch. "Like I said, it's an illogical train of thought since you're not Maverick, you're Kotetsu. It would be unlike you to want to take advantage of me. You did a lot of things that kept sending me the wrong message…to the point where it's almost  _comical_ , really." His lips curled into an amused smirk. "But you didn't mean to do it, and you obviously care. It wouldn't make any sense for me to ignore that and stay stuck on the misunderstandings. In any event, my feelings for you haven't gone away, so what would be the point in dwelling on what I  _thought_  you had done? I would just be making myself miserable."

Kotetsu gave him a puzzled look. "You really thought a lot about this, didn't you?"

Barnaby nodded. "I  _did_  have all day to think about it, and my brain is not as slow as yours, you know," he teased, throwing Kotetsu a playful look.

"HEY!" Kotetsu hooked his arm around Barnaby's neck and pulled him into a headlock. Barnaby weakly protested through his laughs, and Kotetsu quickly released him.

As their laughter died down, the blonde stepped back and smoothed the back of his hair with his hands in an attempt to fix what Kotetsu had messed up. "Sorry to drop by without calling you. I just needed to let you know what I had decided."

The bearded man waved a hand dismissively. "What? No, no, I'm thrilled you came over. You got lucky on the timing though – I only got home about ten minutes ago." It was just then that Kotetsu noticed they hadn't left the small front room. "I guess I could let you into the rest of the place, huh?" He motioned toward the main room and Barnaby followed him in. "Sorry, I didn't know you'd be coming over tonight, or else I would've brought some dinner for you too. We can split my curry though if you'd like. I'd have had leftovers anyway."

Barnaby unzipped his jacket and tossed it over the back of the sofa. "Ah, no, thank you. I've already eaten."

"Oh." Kotetsu picked up his now-cold takeout box and brought it into the kitchen to nuke. "Well, you should definitely try a bite at least. It's good stuff! Have you had Indian curry before?"

Barnaby thought for a moment. "I think I had it once before, a long time ago, but I can't remember if I liked it or not." He looked up at Kotetsu's TV and squinted to read the menu on display. "Were you about to watch something?"

As Kotetsu popped his tray in the microwave, he looked over to see what Barnaby was referring to. "Oh yeah, I was just going to find a movie to watch, but we don't have to do that since you're here." He could still hardly believe Barnaby was, in fact, over at his apartment and sitting on his sofa right now. Twenty-four hours ago, they hadn't even been on speaking terms. Kotetsu could hardly contain himself.

The younger man hummed as he flipped through the different titles, browsing for something he recognized. "No, that sounds kind of nice, actually."

Kotetsu set the microwave's timer for a minute and leaned against the refrigerator as he waited. "Okay, well find something that sounds good. I don't care what we watch." He half wondered if he'd even be able to pay any attention to a movie right now.

"Hmm…I don't really know most of these," Barnaby commented as he continued to browse. "How about we watch a bad kung-fu movie? One of the ones with the horrible voice-overs. I could use a good laugh. I haven't laughed in weeks."

The bearded man snorted and nodded in agreement. "That sounds perfect."

"We're only watching half of it though, because that's all I think I'll be able to tolerate."

"Even better," Kotetsu snickered.

As bizarre as it was having Barnaby over, at the same time, the scene in front of him felt…completely normal. Almost as if nothing had even happened. They'd had many nights in like this, where they'd drink and watch stupid movies, and wind up passed out on the furniture in drunken slumbers for the night. The only difference was that now they had permission to get even closer than they were before, and that was a  _very_  exciting concept. Kotetsu couldn't hold back a smile. It felt so good, and so  _right_.

When the microwave beeped behind him, Kotetsu reached in and pulled out his scorching dinner. The powerful aroma of the curry's spices quickly filled the kitchen, which made Kotetsu's stomach rumble in anticipation. A good day, followed by a good meal, and good company…Yep, life was pretty damned good right now.

He brought the meal back over to the coffee table and settled down in his usual spot – close enough to comfortably carry a conversation with Barnaby, but not close enough to suffocate him. As Kotetsu took a seat, Barnaby started up his movie selection:  _Confricted DRAGON'S Hart_ , which sounded like a real winner. Kotetsu had little intention to pay much attention to the movie, and he doubted Barnaby would either, so he knew he wouldn't have to feel bad about talking through the whole thing.

Kotetsu scooped up a spoonful of the curry and blew on it. When he felt it was cool enough, he held the spoon out to Barnaby, offering him the first bite. His partner accepted the offer and sampled the creamy curry and rice mixture.

"Good, isn't it?" Kotetsu waited to see what Barnaby's reaction was, expecting nothing short of amazement. And his expectations were met, as Barnaby nodded his approval and swallowed the bite. With a pleased grin, Kotetsu stood up and made his way back into the kitchen to retrieve a small plate. He set it down on the table in front of Barnaby, along with a separate spoon. "I know you'll want some. Help yourself."

Barnaby gave him a guilty smile, not arguing against the suggestion that he might have been interested in stealing a few bites prior to the invitation. "Thanks."

Kotetsu finally got started on his dinner and savored the first big bite, humming his approval as he ate. Barnaby dished out a small portion for himself and settled back into the sofa.

The movie's intro was quiet enough that Kotetsu thought this might be a good time to ask a question he'd been thinking about since Barnaby walked through the door. Barnaby had been bold enough to give him a small kiss, and he had even said that he loved him back, but still, Kotetsu needed to know how official this was. If there was anything he'd learned up until now, it was that things this important needed to be spelled out right from the get-go. "So, Bunny…" he started, feeling an unexpected rush of bashfulness he hadn't felt since his high school days as he formed his question, "Are we…are we dating now?"

The blonde looked at him and offered him a small, shy smile. "Well, I'd like to give it a shot."

The old man couldn't help but feel a bit like a giddy teenager again as his heart raced. "Me too. Absolutely." He smiled and mindlessly stirred his curry around, his thoughts all in a tizzy with his excitement. Something about hearing that solid confirmation just made everything feel more real. He knew they were already close enough that not much would  _really_  change, aside from a few new permissions, but it was still exciting. Barnaby was his to love, and he himself could be loved again too – an opportunity he hadn't thought he would be getting after Tomoe's passing.

It was funny to think they had already made it to third base, and yet here they were, blushing at the idea of even holding hands or kissing – or at least Kotetsu was. As far as he was concerned, it was just as well; he had such little recollection of their  _misadventure_  that he hardly felt like he had actually experienced it. So when he thought about all the possibilities of what the future may bring, including getting intimate with Barnaby, it made his cheeks scorch. He did look forward to experiencing it again – when he could be 100% sober and could truly  _experience_  it – but…

Kotetsu's shoulders shook as he chuckled and then held up a finger. "On one condition, though."

Barnaby gave him a puzzled look. "Yes?"

"What do you say we take things slowly?"

Barnaby made a face at him, and then laughed. He covered his eyes with a hand, and when his laughter subsided, he nodded. "That sounds perfect."

 

-END-

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! I would love to hear your thoughts. I'd really like to know if everyone thought everything seemed believable enough, and if everything was paced well, or if anything was rushed/felt forced (if so, why). Often, I feel things make enough sense in my head, but I don't know if I articulate everything well enough on paper. Lol. Sorry for all the notes. Since this was only my second attempt at a fic, I'm still pretty self-conscious and I just want to make this the best that I can. (: Thank you!


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